Woh Kagaz ki Kashti

There are no kids in the apartments we stay in,except for a three yr old Monish or monu in the next flat,he is the only kid and he plays with toys,toy cars,planes , soft toys,and he knows about video games and racing cars also.
He likes me,well,i am sure he does:) he is very shy of people,he just runs into kitchen when anyone visits his house,but he comes to our flat daily,when hubby is yet to reach home Monu becomes the hero of my house,he becomes busy with teddy bears,monkey and tweety,the soft toys in my house.
He keeps asking me a 1000 questions,he calls my hubby "anthoo" he cannot spell ka and la still.The moment my husband enters house he rushes off,crying in case we try to stop him,he is fond of all the chocolates and milkshakes my hubby gets for him,but hubby dosnt stand anywhere in his favourites list.
He keeps asking me if i have to college every day? why cant i play with him all the time? he holds the iron grills with his tiny hands and keeps waving to me till i get into the auto.When i reach home i find him at the same spot waiting for more goodies from me:) I love buying things for him,but i wish i could get him a childhood,that innocent childhood which i belonged to.
where we grew up with neighbours,friends from next house or next street,where in the evenings the local park or streets were filled with kids of all ages shouting laughing,running around and moms standing in small groups busy with gossiping yet having an eye on their kids.,
those days of galli ka cricket,gullidanda,marampeet,cycling,aais-paais (I Spy), chhepan-chhepai and pitthoo,running race and skipping race,kabaddi and Kho Kho and ring game,by 7pm we were busy sitting in front of books,No TV in most of the houses or No cable TV,but we had so much to talk about,to share with each other,when chitrahaar,rangoli,Ye jo hain zindagi ,Ramayan were the shows we used to be busy with on doordarshan on a sunday morning.
Summers were spent at granny's place in villages,flying kites was a challenge we lived for,festivals used to be of more people joining in the happiness,sweets made by mom,those days of sitting down in the kitchen and eating from a banana leaf on special occassions,waiting for dad to be home by 7pm,whole family planning to go out once in a month and that used to be such a wonderful exp with small joys,no expensive shopping but getting that candy or icecream,ballons and jasmine flowers for mom and when 50paisa melody chocolate tasted really sweet.
Getting drenhed in rain and making paper boats and coming back from school all wet and smiling even when mom screamed at us:) there were no mothers day or fathers day but we sure had more time for them and they had all the time for us.

As i read somewhere in a mail sent by a friend "I belonged to a time when " we were crying and laughing more often, moreopenly and more sincerily …When we were enjoying our present more than worryingabout our future … When being emotional was not synonymous to being weakWhen sharing worries and happinesses didnt meangetting vulnerable to the listener …When blacks and whites were the favourite colors instead of greys …When journeys also were important and not just thedestinations,I really miss it all .. do u?

Was listening to this song on radio today..........

Yeh daulat bhi lelo, yeh shoharat bhi lelo,
Bhale cheen lo,mujhse meri jawani
Magar mujhko lautado bachpan ka saawan
Woh kagaz ki kashti,,woh baarish ka paani


Muhalle ki sabse, nishaani poorani
Woh budhiya jise, bachhe kehte the nani
Woh nani ki baton mein pariyon ka dehra
Woh chehre ki jhuriyon mein sadiyon ka tera
Bhulaye nahi, bhul sakta hain koi
Woh choti si raatein, woh lambi kahani
Woh kagaz ki kashti, woh baarish ka paani
Woh kagaz ki kashti, woh baarish ka

apne ghar se nikalna
Woh chidiya, woh bulbul, woh titli pakadna
Woh gudiya ki shaadi pey ladna jaghadna
Woh jhulo se girna, woh girke sambhalna
Woh pital ke chaliyon ke pyaare se tohfay
Woh tooti hui, choodiyon ki nishaani
Woh kagaz ki kashti, woh baarish ka paani
Woh kagaz ki kashti, woh baarish ka paani

Kabhi ret ke, oonche keelon pe jaanaa
Gharonde banana, banake mitaana
Woh maasoom chahat ki tasveer apni
Woh khwabon, khilono ki jaagir apni
Naa duniya kaa gum tha, naa rishton ke bandhan
Badi khoobsurat, thi woh zindagaani

It always amazes me,everytime i win it poses another challenge,everytime i try to have a fight with it,i try to aruge,i crib saying it is unfair to do that to me,i cry,i giveup,i wail but in vain,ultimately i just accept the fact and fightback my way to survival,It sure has a last laugh always,it knows how to make us move on,amazing grit and determination,it just dosnt giveup for anything.Ya,i am talking abt LIFE,it amazes me with its rare but sure quality of not givingup, throwing us into endless emotions,churing up so many feelings.It knows how to take a human life on a rollercoaster ride.It sure knows how to turnaround everything and surprize us all.

I miss something today,i miss someone today,maybe i miss a part of me which went away along with you,you whom i cannot frame anywhere now,You who is without an image,but you still exist.How is it possible? Imageless but still living at some corner of my heart,when i feel you are no more you make a sound which wakes me up in the silence of the night and i walk into the lanes of memory,there is lot of mist there,i cannot makeout where you are,but yes,i can feel you,silently walking around me,and when i turn towards you,there is nothing there,Absolutely nothing.....blank screen where i only see my shadow,is it mine or yours??? Are you still walking along with me silently? I have no answers.

ret par likh ke mera naam mitaaya na karo
ankheN sach bholthi haiN, pyaar chupaaya na karo

[After writing my name on the sand, don't erase it away
Eyes always speak the truth, don't hide your love

log har baat ka afsaana banaa lethe haiN
sabko haalaath ki rudaad sunaaya na karo

[People will make stories out of everything
Don't tell everybody of your sad state of affairs]

yeh zaroori nahiN har shaqs massiah hi ho
pyaar ke zakm amaanat haiN, dikhaaya na karo

It is not necessary that every person be a messiah/doctor
The wounds of love are a treasure/prized possession, don't expose/show them]

shaher-e-ehsaas meiN patraav bahut haiN, 'mohsin'
dil ko sheeshe ke jharoNkhoN meiN sajaaya na karo

[In the city of feelings, there are a lot of stony pathways, 'mohsin'
Don't decorate your heart behind a curtain of glass.
Mohsin...

Past few days were tough to handle,when everything was going wrong,first handling the pressures of being wed into a large family with scores of relatives and different attitudes and egos and just when i thought thank god all is fine came up moms health.It was tough,seeing her in bed for 10days almost scared me the most,when i saw her unconcious and lying there helpless,alone, i couldn take it,shell shocked but still i had to go on,fight with god,fight with destiny,sending up a silent prayer i rushed her to the hospital.I missed my brother the most last few days,when he called up i broke down but then i told him i can handle it,i always do,she is fine now,recovering.
and when i am back to my work and hubby now i am sick:( Food poisoning or some nonsense,its taking up all my energy to be positive,today morning i almost screamed in frustration and asusual he was calm and trying to soothe me out of my irritation.Staying home for such long spells that too all alone makes me moody.the silence gets over me at times:(
Loads of blog hopping to be followed soon:)

WHERE the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom,
my Father, let my country awake

Rabindranath Tagore.

Those people who left us yesterday in the blasts are gone forever,never to come back,never to see how much their lovedones are grieving for them, to wipe those tears and pain and fear etched on the minds of scores of people who are still in a shock,watching it all,feeling helpless,struggling to come to terms with the fact that tomorrow it can be US.Can peace be traded with such a bloodbath?
do we have a right to take a life when we cannot give life ? Its time to sharE a hope,of a better tomorrow,i join my hands today,to send a silent prayer to someone sitting up there,Let the Heaven of freedom be here soon.Lets all pray for those who left,Lets share the grief and lets try to make this world a better place to live.In whatever way we can,Lets think and start it right away.To the spirit of humanity,to the spirit of Mumbai,we salute in unison.