Birthday:)

Thank you Hip grandma and Sree for the award. I feel great and honored.

I wanted to say a lot, to write again, but words fail me and emotions choke me up, I miss everything gone by and i thank god for what i have today. Thank you for the mails, messages, cards and gifts, and thank you for remembering.

Hope

Pic courtesy : An evening from our Terrace

Its surprising how often I think of you,
turn to speak to you,
and realize you're not right there

i guess i hold you so close in thought
that its hard to understand sometimes,
that you aren't close in person.

"Kisi mausam ka jhaunka tha
jo is deewar par latki hui tasveer tirchhi kar gaya hai
gaye sawaan mein ye deewarein yoon seeli nahin thi
na jaane is dafa kyun inmein seelan aa gayi hai
darare pad gaye hai aur seelan is tarha baithti hai
jaise khushk rukhsaroon pe geele aansu chalte hain"

Its been more than three years, and there are still such memories, such moments which come back, remind me of the time gone by, of the people who walked away, of the tears and pain and the emptiness which filled up, the darkness and silence which just took over and it hurt so badly that there were moments when i thought it was the End. That there is nothing more, I cried, day and night, hoped and wished that you will be back, i wished it were just a dream but then reality dawned and how i wished it never did. Days went by and i just moved on, took lot of time to smile again and to push back the tears it took lot of strength, i took time but i did so.

The words are just a reminder for me that nothing stops, you wont stop living and End is not when you want it to be, it would come, but till then just live, the Hope of a tomorrow will bring a new light. The darkness has to go and it did. Today every smile is so precious and every joy so memorable because i know the worth of it and Thanks to the one who left... If not for you i never knew i had strength, to fight back and to live, I now know about HOPE, thanks to you. Life goes on and i await Another New Day.

And then there is SRK always with his line "Picture abhi baaki hain dost"

Ye Lamha

I laughed at her when i looked at it, made fun of her idea of locking up a 2Rs cookery set,a teddy bear which she got me some 20yrs back,a small hand fan which she bought for me at uttaranchal,a flute which is the only memory left of dad,
those plastic flowers bought at a roadside vendor after 10 min of bargaining, the dancing doll which i got for her, the coconut idol i got for my brother, and so many others in the showcase in the hall, and when she dint let me touch even the glass pane i was angry but then i realized, she is not gathering clutter.

she is locking away the memories, the way she looks at them all once in a day when she is alone reminds her of our childhood, of our past and the days of struggle and the times of happiness, every toy, doll, flowers and items there have a story to say, every thing there reminds me of a past, of togetherness and of love and affection,of never ending friendships .

Time won't come back but these will remind us all of what it was like before and how we always will cherish it all. I moved away from house two years back and he is always busy with his work and she is alone most of the time after coming from office, i know she keeps talking about us all to the servant,
shares the stories with those who care to listen to and every Sunday she will open the glass doors carefully, dust them all and fondly touch them, relive those memories and then lock the glass doors and hang the key near the fridge, she does it always, every Sunday, without fail, Sorry mom, i wont ever laugh at this ritual of yours, you gather these memories and i will relive them all one day,Love you ma.

There is chill in the air, my balcony,the roses and the the plants are all rain soaked, when i woke up and opened the balcony i was greeted with these two lovely roses, with little drops of water and moving their heads as if they are telling how happy they are, and i wanted to tell them that i am happy too, i am soaking in the simple pleasures of life, Isn't it easy?
I let the thought be left alone and covered up in a shawl and got busy with my morning newspaper and remembered one of my fav..."Aye zindagi,ye lamha jeelenede"