Monday, November 10, 2008

Ajnabi zindagi

There is absolutely no reason, Not any which i can think of, Not for the long silence. I was silent, just like that, absorbing the sights and surroundings of this city, i have been singing..."ajnabi shehar hai,ajnabi shaam hai,zindagi ajnabi kya tera naam hai,ajeeb hai ye zindagi ye zindagi ajeeb hai,ye milti hai bichadthi hai bichadke phir se milti hai,Ajnabi shehar hai" So true and such beautiful lyrics.

Diwali was lonely, most of the so called friends went home and the neighbours smiled and got busy. After lighting the lamps and done with puja we had time, and that brough back memories and memories bring back tears, of happiness, of pain... of lonliness, of missing laughter and the beauty of innocence... all lost, i am an empty man today... long back someone sent it as an sms i guess...

All said and done, this city is my own now, i live here, i now have a subjiwala, a milk man who recognizes me, istriwala, the lady who sells flowers gives me a knowing smile, the waiter smiles at me when i walk into MTR, the salesmen recognize me at SKC and i know in which lanes of chikpet i will get beautiful sarees and where i can find the best handbags and i love the V V Puram lanes where aromas of benne dosas mesmerizes everyone in the evenings, i argue with autofellows,i say "Beda" to the vendors at the traffic signals.

"Namaskaara sir" i greet the old attender near the lift in the college daily. He smiles fondly, I now know that i get wonderful varities of plants at Lalbaagh and i am happy that i find Khadims, Ohris, Sheerkhorma , hindi, panipuri, Masala bhel,pavement shopping, bargaining, jasmines in the evening, dosas and idlis and freshly made coffee smell.....Everything i am used to in the hometown is here too.
I have a home here, home, sweet home, which we struggled for, planned for, which we fought over,where to keep the diwan, which side of the bed to be owned, which would be my study table, where will i keep the plants and what music will be played... everything we own... But what i miss the most is the familiarity... the family, friends and the life once which belonged to me...the one i left behind for a new life. A trade off... made after lot of thinking and deliberation but then.."life is not all about using your logic, its about the heart which is filled with emotions..."

I miss what is left behind, i walk down the memory lane with a smile, there is so much to remember, to feel and to relive again, hand in hand we both walk together, over those wet lanes of memory recollecting the shells of happiness and sharing it with eachother... the tradeoff is worth it, Diwali was lonely but i was not alone..........

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