Mere ghar aana zindagi..

"Aalapana,the sounds of music,which is a part of my life,aalapana which changes according to the raga being sung,similar to my words,which change according to my emotions"
The first post written that evening,Two years back when the journey started again.

Two years already,Two years since one evening when i just closed my diary and walked to the computer to restart blogging, two years already since i closed Akruti? Two years since life started all over again,Two years of no contacts with the people who left,who walked away and two years since i turned back to look at people whom i left behind,emotions which i ran away from,tears which now don't roll out so easily and the innocence which i left far behind,Life changed so much and new experiences and new people walked in, happiness and smiles frequented often and tears and loneliness became rare, Happy Two years of existence Aalapana.Thank you for all the new beginnings and thank you for Another New Day.

There are people who come here regularly,some come here,read and go back, silently,I wish you come out and say it once that you do read the blog:) I would have another reason to smile, another reason to write,to keep writing,De lurk people, make me smile:)

"There were tears,when i was listening to this song, to be true to myself there are tears most of the mornings when i am driving on those empty roads, early in the morning when the morning chilled air strikes me fast and furious, i just keep staring at the trees and those flowers fallen on the road,when the music is playing in my ears and there i feel it, a darkness which i keep pushing away but it still is lingering around somewhere deep in the heart,My eyes keep searching for that one similar face in the crowd at the traffic signal, There are no questions to ask or no answers to seek but still the eyes keep looking out and in a few seconds i snap out of the feeling and push away the impending tears and get busy with Life.
The song is an oldie again, 1979, Uttam kimar and sharmila in the movie Dooriyan and sung by Bhupinder and Anuradha Paudwal. I wish i had enough words to describe it.....

Zindagi Zindagi Mere Ghar Aana Aana Zindagi
Zindagi Mere Ghar Aana Aana Zindagi
Mere Ghar Ka Seedha Sa Itna Pataa Hai
Ye Ghar Jo Hai Chaaron Taraf Se Khula Hai
Na Dastak Zaruri, Na Aavaz Dena
Mere Ghar Ka Darvaaza Koi Nahin Hai
Hain Deevaren Gum Aur Chahat Bhi Nahin Hai
.......................
Mere Ghar Ka Seedha Sa Itna Pataa Hai
Mere Ghar Ke Aage Mohabbat Likha Hai
Na Dastak Zaruri, Na Aawaz Dena
Main Saanson Ki Raftaar Se Jaan Lungi
Havaaon Ki Khushboo Se Pehchaan Lungi

Ae zindagi gale laga le

"how does it feel to start at 0 after a 100? asked a friend when i started writing here last year Feb 3rd,Yes,its been already one year,the first birthday of Aalapana and a big thankyou to all of you who read,commented, silent at times but still been a part of the smiles,pain,joy,tears and anger and frustration which poured through the words here,

It feels great,to be the same,to not twist words,to not hide the real self,it feels good,but to tell you the truth i still miss the place which has been associated with an important phase of my life,but then here or in life its good to move on and what a journey it has been,past one year,Thankyou god,for everything and for everyone who stood by me and thank god for the people who left without a trace,i am better off without them and i have no regrets of leaving behind anything or anyone.

"Friends" what would be life without them? had a fantastic time with S and Y and we did nothing out of the world but i think i would feel the same even if we three meet at home for just 10min, because there are no pretensions,no artificial emotions,and what makes this friendship so unique is the fact that we act normal and we argue and in a min forget it and call up each other and talk about something else.
and more than anything what i love is the fact that hubby liked them instantly when he met them before wedding and today he says "if i ever have a complaint against you,i wont go to your mom,i will go to S and K" and that makes the huge difference,12yrs of friendship and today i felt a bit sad that i would be moving to another city soon,whom will i call up at all odd hrs and bug about the days events?
who will willingly work on my all time unfair demands with a smile,one who acts as a driver who takes me to any place in Hyd whenever i have to travel and one who is ever ready for giving advices whenever i rush to him with strange problems:)

and who will alter all their schedules just because i suddenly feel that we need to go for a movie or a book fair or go buy a dress,who will bear my most boring shopping sessions where all they do is carry my bags and i will be walking around buying things,how much ever i fight,how much ever i say i wont talk to them they still wait,maybe because they know that i will comeback to them,i do and they do the same,more than anything who will know the real me the way these two people know? None i would say,maybe one day hubby will succeed but for now no one else know the real ME except for them,i will sure miss them,well,but then do distances matter when we are bonded for life? maybe not,thank god,i count my blessings today and smile.

I am listening to the song "ae zindagi gale lagaale,humne bhi tere har ek ghum ko gale se lagaaya hain,hain na.... humne bhaane se,chupke zamaane se,palko ke pardein mein ghar bharliya hain ...tera sahaara milgaya hain zindagi" from Sadma,enjoy life as it comes,keep that smile intact:)