"Dil ki Kalam se"

I guess she still hopes to see Raja again, Never been alone from the day we brought her home, Raja was her hero, her partner and the one whom she followed everywhere and now she is all over the house searching for him. But i guess in last two months she got used to his absence but then at times there is that look on her face which shows the loneliness. I wish death never happens but i know its a bitter truth and we all have to live with it. I only hope to be a little more stronger and accept this truth. Cannot let it break me down so badly.

15yrs of friendship and a small argument and i heard a line from a dear friend saying "we are not asking you people to leave, we want a separate state, you can live here if you want" and it made me speechless. Stung like a bee, who am i? Coming from one of the most fertile region is my mom and dad from one of the most backward region and i am born and brought up in Hyderabad.Settled in Bangalore, so where do i belong to? Regionalism took way the faith in a 15yr old relationship. Hurt and angry, i don't want to take calls from him. Don't know if i am wrong but for now, i feel much better to be away from arguments about division of states:)

Hubby is in Hyd, been home alone past three days, it feels so good and i also realized something, When he is away i miss him and when he is at home i always crib and argue with him (well, not always) When at home he doesn't talk much but when he is out of town he will sure call every few hrs to know if i am OK and if i had my food.Brings a smile, strange relation this one, says nothing but makes you feel so special yet.

He is bringing this plant(Radha manoharam) from amma's garden, holding it in a box and keeping it on the berth in the train, because i love the feel of having a plant from home,to make me feel a part of the place i grew up in.

I am happy, i know its not easy for him to do all this, the one who travels only with his laptop and minimum luggage and prefers a flight most of the time, not easy to bring plants, fruits and veggies and home made sweets and my sarees and random list of purchases which i demand from amma and MIL. He will crib but he will bring them all, in a train, missing his precious sleep and when i am opening all those packets he sits there silently, listening to me, not understanding half of the importance of each little thing there but still trying to understand the emotions. Thanku Sri:)

New year, new hopes and i wish half of them to turn to reality. Winter is fading away slowly, The morning sun brings nice warm feeling and my garden is in bloom.Roses and hibiscus which i use for the morning puja and the sunlight early in the morning covering my kitchen utility and the the smell of incense sticks and the smell of strong coffee, the vibrant colors of nature all around and silence in the house,
I thank god for the peace and for the hope. I don't believe in resolutions but i promise myself about a few things. One, i will continue blogging, it helps and second, I won't let the weaker me take over my strength, i wont let myself hurt so much that ----------, i wont let anybody play with my emotions, Simply stating, i won't let anyone make me cry easily and i wont loose my patience. And yes, one last but most imp for me, I will accept life as it comes to me:)
Cheers, have a wonderful Monday morning all of you. Thank you for all the comments in the last post, means alot to me. Makes me happy, makes me smile and makes me write:)

I am listening to "Phoolon Ke Rang Se Dil Ki Kalam Se Tujhko Likhi Roz Paati, Kaise Bataaoon Kis Kis Tarah Se Pal Pal Mujhe Tu Sataati, Tere Hi Sapne Lekar Ke Soya Teri Hi Yaadon Mein Jaaga,Tere Khayaalon Mein Uljha Raha Yoon Jaise Ki Maala Mein Dhaaga" from Prem pujari. Heard it before? if not go and listen to it. One of the most beautiful songs:)

All happies:)

Happy wedding anniversary sri:) Its been a wonderful journey and if not for you i wouldn have been what i am today. Thank you for letting me be what i am, For letting me make mistakes, letting me learn, never stopping me for anything and holding my hand when i fumble. C ya in Hyderabad on May 7th, three years back we were there getting married and three years later we will be there witnessing one more family member getting engaged:) Cheers to many more happy times:)

"too is tarah se meree jindagee mein shaamil hain,
jahaan bhee jaaoo ye lagataa hain teree mahafil hain,
ye aasamaan ye baadal ye raasate ye hawaa
har yek cheej hain apanee jagah thhikaane se,
kaee dinon se shikaayat naheen jamaane se,
ye jindagee hain safar, too safar kee manjil hain

..........Yeh Mulaaqat..........

"kasak uthi mere mann mein piya, mujhe gale lagaale ,gale lagaalein, jiya dhadkaalein, sapno ke apne sajaale,piya piya o re piya, jiya o re jiya ,tu meri jindagi jahaan tu mera mann wahaan,duniya se kya waasta, tu hi mera saara jahaan tu" What a beautiful rendering and what surprises me is the voice is of Anand Raj Anand.Been listening to the same song past two days. Yup its been two days since the famous and exciting and ever waiting summer vacation started and at last i have a real break after one year. And what a way to start the vacation,on the last day i wished all my colleagues a happy vacation and got into auto and happily singing away and with the widest and brightest of smile headed home,Auto driver had different ideas for me,he just broke a traffic signal and in a hurry to cross over banged into a Maruti car,wow,superb way to start the vacation.
No,i dint break any hand or leg or even my head but I almost broke my back,so three days all i did was to get different X rays and taking different sized and shaped pills to kill the pain and to the rub the salt on the wound an unsuspecting and innocent soul sent me an sms at 10pm saying Hi,i know you must be having a rocking time" Well.....indeed rocking:((
Last year I wrote a post and he added his version. But this year i myself have no interest to write or to celebrate{too busy with the new house} but then its one occasion which sure changed my life,forever. Its been two years, two years since i got married and well we both are still sane and together, May 7th,7am,2006. :) Ye mulaaqat ek bahaana hain,pyar ka silsila purana hain...main hoon apni sanam ki bahoon mein,mere kadmon thale zamaana hain" Happy wedding anniversary Husband:)
I did not update the blog for various reasons past one month, like having a House warming ceremony and the house being filled with relatives of all sorts and being under the same roof with MIL and Mom for a week, and the biggest news is that there was nothing to write,i just dint feel like writing anything,I still read all the blogs,daily,but then writing a post was difficult and i just let it be.At least this is the only place where i can follow my heart and be myself,so i will write when the thoughts flow and the words form into a shape.
100th post, When i wrote at Akruti there were 267 posts by the time i closed it in about two and half years.When i started writing again i dint even know if i would continue but i did,and its been two and half years and a 100 posts today. And i know i won't stop writing ,Lots to say,lots to share and the blog will stay. People come and people go,but those few who still come here,read through,smile,feel,comment and sometimes silent,known or unknown,thanks to all of you,Alapana is here to stay.

Dear HusbanD

Well,i know the cake was yummy and exactly what you wanted,but the expression is still the same and i still have the same to you which i said last year .

Happy Birthday Dear Husband, Please do remember that just because the cake is for you that doesn't mean that you can eat every bit of it,Do keep me a share till i come back home,And no,i have not yet forgiven for eating 100gm of special Ooty chocolates in one sitting just because you were hungry and no,i have not yet come to terms with your concern that Onions have become costlier and your surprise that vegetables are costlier than what they were when you were 10 year old {Note to self:Never send him again to buy vegetables} and no, we cannot have Bhindi every day,no matter what,so please stop saying bhindi every time i ask you what to make for dinner or lunch or Breakfast.

And when i ask you how i am looking in a particular dress or a saree you are supposed to say Good or Very good or the best but not to stare Blankly and not ask WHY? or you look the same everyday!@#@$@!#!@#!@ .

For god sake,when you took me to the car dealer for the first time after negotiating with him for 3 times and say "Now i will see how you wont agree,deal with her for half an hour and you will come down on the price all by yourself,good luck,Life is not easy boss" No,you are not supposed to say that and yes,i do admit that the man did come down with the price,but you still@$#@$@$.

We are on the bike and when i comment "are we traveling on a bullock cart,why are you going so slow" you cannot answer "No,this is not bullock cart but when two buffaloes are sitting on the activa it works at the speed of a bullock cart" No dammit, you are not supposed to talk about my weight,how dare you do so.

Well,one last thing, when you said " You are a headstrong, rude, hot tempered and arrogant person but you are a sweet heart" It brought a smile, i know that you know me:) and do take it from me "you are a hot tempered,rude, arrogant person too but still you are the best suited for me;p Happy Birthday Husband:)

No,you cannot count the 28 days of last one month when you gave a treat to me for that new shirt,the new mouse for your system,for being bored and for the having a new hair cut, No matter what,i want a treat on this occasion,for your Birthday:)

"Tum Bhi chalo hum bhi chale ,chalti rahe zindagi,Na Zameen manzil na aasman ,zindagi hai zindagi,Peechhen dekhe na kabhi mudke raahon mein,Jhoome mera dil tumhe leke baahon mein,Dhadkon ki jubaan nith kahe daastan,Pyar ki jhilmil chhaon mein, Palti rahe zindagi"

Yes,the same song:)

Musafir

All through the train i was singing and don't ask me which song,the list is big but thanks for the music and the camera the journey was good,and Mr.Husband (Tumka,tumka) was silent,Or shall i say as usual Silent,and answers in monologues like Hmmm, Ok,Yeah, fine,Huh:( How does this man survive without talking?? Anyways, He had is usual means of entertainment,Yeah,the same old laptop and newspapers and Outlook Money,Huh.Now a few of the words presented in the form of Pictures:) what to do,Better than talking in monologues:(

From the train,was greeting with such beautiful colors at 6am.

At home,On Diwali evening,i love lamps,of all forms:)

At Hyderabad,just outside my bedroom window i have a neighbor,
nice house mate:)

From the terrace,welcoming the winter sun:)

Ok,may be come inside and taste those mirchi bajji and chikki
and all you are eating lady,You come all the way from bangalore only to eat ,huh!!!

Sunset,on the way to Shirdi from Pune,How do i know its sunset?
Because i took the picture:D

Mr.Husband,i do like Lotus but don't you think there are so many varieties
of flowers and you can give a rose at least once?? out of two times you
gave flowers it was only Lotus:( No, No complaints:D

And for a few more pictures or to know what was Tumka's gift for Tumki head here:) to my kitchen

Jai Mangala Murti

Certain feelings,some days,a few moments can never be portrayed in words,I wish i can capture the fragrance which is still lingering around the house and keep it with me forever,the smell of chandan,flowers,fresh fruits,sweets,coconuts,mango leaves,haldi,kumkum and the lamps glowing forcing the darkness to give way to the light in the heart,forcing away all fears and being a part of the moment,praying silently knowing that i am not alone who is feeling it all,knowing that you are with me makes it all so fulfilling.Thank you god,for everything i got in life and thank you for something which i lost,i am a better person today.

And then one day....

Its so strange how the simple experiences of life teach you the most invaluable lessons of life,thank god for them:) I am at home all the day,i have always said from the time i came to this city that i will go back if i don't find a job,luckily i am on vacation,i am still holding on to my job in Hyd,Did i try?No,maybe because i never trusted enough about myself,i trusted others and after working for 7yrs at one place i guess i lost that spirit of searching,trying or getting something with a vengeance,i was too much of myself in a comfort zone,with out even trying i said I lost, depressed and was almost in tears.
Someone knocked the door ,windows clad with curtains,doors closed and me busy with my laptop,TV,music as always went to open the door,and surprised to see hubby completely drenched and then i realized it was raining,I was angry,frustrated,
How could i not know it was raining?How could i not know,Me,who loves the rain like mad,i was cursing and murmuring to myself,cursing that this city of walls is no fun,that there is no open sky to watch over,that there is no open space,I just was going on"how could i not know????" and i hear this one line from him "Because you chose not to hear or know anything about it,You closed yourself and you chose to lock yourself here my dear,try going out,you will feel fine,give it a try " I dont know if it were only for the rain or for my attitude of not trying but it did hit at the right spot।
With in two hours i was seen busy posting my cv and getting an interview call and the next day saw me travelling alone,rejecting a recommendation from a well wisher,and by afternoon i gave a call to my mom and then to my hubby "I GOT THE JOB,Yes,the first one i applied for and the first interview i attended and the first demo i have given got me a job,Yes,this is my first sincere attempt with out taking any suggestions or with out trusting any false promises and i got it on my own,Yes,again as a teacher in one of the very good colleges in this city, and i loved every moment of the experience,
and then while i was waiting there came hubby,I am proud of you was the only line i heard from him and it reminded me of mom, thank god for these two people in my life,they are always there to make me walk straight when i am loosing my path.
And yes, it did rain again that day,and i got drenched totally and all my certificates got wet,and i almost lost my wrist watch,something which i am wearing past 13years,yes,13yrs but it is still working after all that soaking wet in rain:) and poor hubby was trying so hard to save his laptop from rain,and while coming back i was still humming the same song which i started in the morning "aashaayein khile dil ki,ummeedein hase dil ki,ab mushkil nahi kutch bhi,nahi kutch bhi kutch aaisa karke dikha,khud khush ho jaaye khuda,aashaayen khile dil ki"


चीनी कम हैं,चीनी कम हैं,थोड़ी थोड़ी तुझमें हैं क़ुम, सुनले कभी कहती हैं क्या,दिल कि सदा, दर्द जाता हैं मुस्कुराके, देखले देखले आज्माके ...

Just Like That

Yes,I get Tread mill as a gift from Husband and i am yet to recover from the shock;p, Seriously both of us should be given an award sort of thing for finding the most unusual! ! ! ! sort of things for each other,But whats so unusual about this he asks innocently, Sigh!@$#$!# This man never gave me a flower or a card till now but he gives me a Tread Mill,A digi cam,A Laptop, etc etc and he still dosnt understand the importance of flowers in a womens life,neither the imp of cards, Sigh! ! ! He is still sulking that i was not excited or dancing around after seeing the gift,Now he seriously expects that!@#$%^^#W!@$

I should have known that marrying a geek who can discuss routers, I P Numbers and net working when he meets his would be wife for the first time can go to any extent when needed, He did. Whenever we have a fight i make sure to show my displeasure or anger by not giving him the news paper,by putting more salt in the curries or adding salt to his coffee but what does he do?? He Blocks my IP Address while i am browsing and i keep wondering why i am unable to connect to net while he is happily plying with his laptop,I keep checking the wireless broad band router,calling up the service provider,sigh, This man is impossible:(

I met the Principal of a very reputed college today and am yet to come out of the shock of knowing that people can be so rude, they don't have the basic courtesy of offering a chair or responding to the wishes,not a smile all the while,pompous, and can just throw a card on the table and show off the books written by him {Only to know that he is not even eligible to write those subjects}
and that the credentials given in his card are far more less and meaning less when compared to mine and i taught double the subjects than he did and i am more experienced than he is and that he is given that position because he belongs to such and such community left me sad and depressed,i so want to go back to my work place,i wish i can, and as for the offer from that college,i will starve to death but would never go back to that place and work with such people.
So my first attempt at starting my professional life here goes for a toss,and i am busy munching chips and peanuts and having rasgullas and gulabjamoon and looking at that TREAD MILL:)

Happy weekend all of you:)

Jab koi baat bigad jaaye,jab koi mushkil padjaaye,
tum dena saath mera woh hum nawaaz,na koi hain,
na koi tha,zindagi mein tumhare siva,
tum dena saath mera,woh humnawaaj

The Tumka & The Tumki

His Version

Exactly an year back i lost all my independence and thats when i realised that i am now happy married,i am a married man:( She wont let me forget that even in my sleep. I am feeling so sleepy but still wanted to say this,Now that we both completed one year i am going to give a name to ourself, yes,a new name,when she can rip me away with all her jokes on me at this blog let me also take this opportunity and share this name with you all. Ladies and gentleman,presenting to you the Tumka {thats me} and the Tumki {thats her}
Why why why? she keeps asking me, Hmmm,i will tell you all even before you start,now the tumka and the tumki are two lazy people who stay at home most of the time when they are not in the office and just keep talking {she talks and i listen} and they never bother to go out,socialize,meet friends or explore the new city,they have no interest in the latest fashion statements,they both love watching comedy movies and can laugh aloud while sharing an orange or a banana or some groundnuts {how boring na,they are too lazy to get popcorn also} They prefer simple music and love reading their newspaper on every sunday morning sharing it and tumki cooks well and she did start a new blog also for that:))) so no chance of going out to the only restaurant which they used to visit often{even the waiters there are bored of them now:(
and they can think of food whenever they feel bored,yes,they can always think of food,they both are like small size errrrrrrr or,large size {hmmm,lets settle for medium} size round pumpkins,golgappas, potatos or whatever comes to ur mind, they love to climb on to their bechara kinetic Activa and go to reliance fresh or foodworld which is just half a km from their house and have fun in the name of shopping {oh,never mind even if it is called grocery shopping} they hardly go out on a vacation,past one yr all they did was to plan and while the word execution come they excuse themselves and postpone the plans
All they have in their life right now is few friends {whom we blatantly ignore and do not meet but they still love us} and a street dog which she adopted and feeds promptly even before she realises that there is a husband who is hungry:(((( Sigh!!!!! that dog dosn't even give bhaav to me:( Now you know why i say the Tumka and the Tumki,it suits, isn't it:D
Now i hope all your doubts are cleared and i am sure now no one will ask us "what are your plans for today {huh,even that doctor whom we met today had the same question,huh:(

By the way i am supposed to say "Happy wedding anniversary wife" {Oh,i don't want to say first,because it reminds me that i just completed only one year of my life long imprisonment} And now i am rushing off from here before those chappal and jaadoo and paperweight lands on me,runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn:)


My version of shaadi ki saalgirah
A year back exactly on this day i was awake at this hour,the house was filled with people, flowers and lights and bangles ,puja,mehandi, silk sarees, glittering gold,sweets and laughter around, but still there was a strange silence in my room,i was still wondering if it were all true? Was i really getting married? but why and how? i mean why would someone want to stay with me forever? why would someone share his life with me? The answers which were not known and in midst of all the confusion at 7am, we both got married, not once did you look at me and all the time i was looking at you "Why is he taking all this trouble to marry me?? Me out of all the people?? huh,strange man and i smiled to myself.

Dear hubby,exactly one year and on this day of our first wedding anniversary i am sitting by the window and typing away while you are happily dreaming away in the wonderland of sleep,Its so peaceful and silent,i cannot sleep but today i have no questions or confusions,i dont need any answers,All i know is that we were destined to be with each other and both of us are trying our best to feel it all for life,i know we will be happy, Happy first wedding anniversary dear husband,you mean a world to me today and forever:)

"Ye dil aur unki nigahon ke saaye

"Ye mulaaqat ek bahaana hain,pyar ka silsila purana hain...main hoon apni sanam ki bahoon mein,mere kadmon thale zamaana hain.."listening to this song at 7am makes me feel great.

Lost in the world of thoughts i just kept scribbling in the silence of the morning,not many sounds except for the songs..
"ishaaro ishaaro mein dil lene waale bataa ye hunar tune sikhaa kahaa se,nigaaho nigaaho mein jaadoo chalanaa,meree jaan sikhaa hain tum ne jahaa se"
all the wonderful songs early in the morning,i love early mornings because of music and....... And? there came a smile,was it not long long back when it was only music and the diary,Diary????

oh,the one which i always kept writing early in the mornings or late in the nights,i love both,watching the sun rays entering my room,the roses in the garden,the freshly drenched earth in the dew and the late nights when all i had was music and the wind chimes and the breeze touching my cheeks while i just kept writing,whatever,i felt, anger, frustration, smiles, pain or just a line portraying my love.
It was a small world,friends,family,studies and dreams,of a better tomorrow,thats it,I have come a long way,haven't we all?
Today when i look back i just smile at that innocent little girl full of dreams,where did she go? today after heart breaks and frustrations,failures and success and cut throat competition and jealousy and winning a lot and loosing a few am i better than that innocent girl? Sometimes i feel i am not,i wish to go back,but then life is always about walking into a tomorrow,isn't it:)Not that i don't love my today but then i miss my yesterday.

"Almost an year" Reminded the date on the calender and he says "Already? was it not only a few months back?" Yes dear,it was few=11months back and in a months time we will be celebrating the First wedding anniversary"
Life has been good,well,sort of Khatta meeta {was watching this extremely wonderful and lovely movie by Basu chatterji} and the song "thoda hain,thode ki zarrorat hain,zindagi fir bhi yehan khoobsoorat hain"
Dates form an important reminder of those wonderful time gone by,and Dairies also are a part of that to me,was searching for a particular entry and found this diary of 2006,the year when life took a U turn and changed everything,brought so many changes and the scribbles there made me nostalgic.

March19th when i met you for the first time,March26th when the wedding was confirmed,April 12th when we got engaged:) dates they are all now,but with a thin thread of memories which hang around my world forever.they are not only dates now,they are the links to my yesterday,to such memories which will remind me to smile and be thankful to god for what is given to me,to us.

How do you feel?are you happy? why can't i see it?

"Not all happiness need to be shown,or reacted up on,this is beyond a humanly reaction for me,a feeling of complete bliss,it can just be felt but maynot be expressed" True,no amount of words can ever say what this one year was like,how it was to be with you,Sometimes silence says it all

"aao huzoor tumko sitaaron mein le chalun, dil jhoom jaaye aisi bahaaron mein le chalun,aao huzoor aao"

And then goes the other favourite of mine"ye dil aur unki,nigahon ke saaye,ye dil aur unki nigahon ke saaye,mujhe gher lethi ye baahon ke saaye........."

The world of music and memories and those unspoken words of promise of a better tomorrow,Life is beautiful:)

Pati,Patni Aur Woh.

Dear R,Stop scaring people,specially kids,stop feeling that you are a human,and stop barking at all fellow dogs,you wont find a girlfriend if you do so,you are not supposed to eat icecreams, samosas and mirchibajji and sweets.And now,off with your arrogant look on that cute face of yours,just because you were named the KING doesn't mean you act like one,by the way that chair on which you regally spend more than half of your day is inherited by me from my granny three years back,and its 75yrs old,so can i sit in it once without you barking and shooing me away,
And that bed is mine too and i still cant believe that you thought i am going to harm mom when all i was trying was to lift her up in the air and you chased me for good ten min and calmed down only when mom assured you of her safety,thankyou mom,i owe you my life. but did i tell you that i love you the most:) yes,i do.

Dear S,now please stop staring at me with those "woh dear,plz someone feed me,i am starving,these ppl dont give me food" kind of look,will ya,and sure someone is going to call some dog protection cell and throw us in jail for torturing you poor soul,You have always been moms favorite,isn't it,and you always get away from any punishment because she never believes that you can do anything wrong,now how do i explain to her that looks can be deceptive.I know that secret extra cups of milk you get from mom when you ceremoniously follow her to kitchen at 4am, huh,you are her tail surely, "wherever you go,our network follows" has become your motto in life.
You cannot fool me,bhuhahahah {bloody hell,but you always fool me:(,dont you,and i end up sharing my already small with my height and size bed and lurk away to one corner waking up with stiff neck,back and whatnot.And will you please bring that new sandal of mine which you put away under the bed just because i scolded you.mom till date is not ready to believe that it was you and not R,Stop looking like that,i know you,and yes,I love you:)

Me:Dont they look cute and adorable,look at the way they are playing"

Hubby: Yeah,thankgod!!!!!!

Me:Now why that thankgod????

Hubby:They are not married,so they are having all the fun,i am so happy for them,what a dogs life it is ,sigh!!!!!
{whose????,no reply @#$%^@$%

zindagi haseen hain

I want to be there,where dreams turn to reality,where the sea and sky embrace and whisper their love for eachother,at that moment i want to stand on the shores,holding your hand and let the silence speak,Life is tough,but with you around,solutions always come to me easily,Thankyou for being there.

This is one of my very favourite album and the combination of Gulzar and RD makes it even more special,and feels great to start your day with the song.........

"katraa katraa milthi hai, katraa katraa jeene do, zindagii hai, bahne do~~~~~
pyaasi hoon main pyasi rehne do,rehne do naaaaa,
tumne to aakash bichhaya,mere nange pairo main zameen hai,
dekhe to tumhaari aarzoo hai,,shayad aisi zindagi haseen hai,
aarzoo main bahne do,pyaasi hoon main pyaasi rehne do

halke halke kohre ke dhue mein,shayad aasman tak aagayi hoon,
teri do nigaho ke sahaare dekho tho kahaatha aagayi hoon,
kohre mein behne do,pyasi hoon mein pyasi rehne do

Me:What gift did you get me from there" {all excited and searching his airbag}

Hubby: Hmmm,errrrr,hmmm

Me:What??? you forgot,isn't it,so mean of you" {all th while ignoring a small box without any giftwrap in one corner of the bag.I walk off:( }

After 5 min he called me into the hall where he is all beaming and i notice a small porcelain gift,a girl and guy in a dancing pose and then i looked at him blank,he smiled and he connected a plug into the socket and turned on the switch and there started a small water fountain in there,oh,i understood,the girl was standing in a lotus,he was looking at me and i was looking at the "Eight wonder of the world"

Hubby:Did you like it" Me:Errr,hmmm, what made you bring me this?

Hubby:You like water,dont u?

Me:water!!!!!!!! oh,that {i told him i love sea,rivers and ponds and beaches but fountains?????" and that too as a gift????
And it reminds me of a gift i would give to a ten year old girl and i am not one.

Hubby: Oh,i though your are one,atleast you remind me one:)
What???? Huh,men !@#$%$#@!

Well,not bad that way,atleast he rememberd i like WATER:( in past eight months i got two stuffed dogs,{ He remembered i love pets} one parker pen,{i collect pens}a laptop{wanted me to finish my phd},a pendrive{so that i dont waste his cd's and dvd's} and now this.
Will i ever get something feminine? and he asked "Why do YOU need a feminine gift,thats for someone ....." Sigh,hope next week when he comes he wont bring something which reminds me of a 5yr kid:(indai

But dear hubby,if you are reading this,you know it very well that i love the way you are,dont change:D

Pic courtesy:Deviant art.
Album :Gulzar remembers Pancham.

Bas Yun Hi

Hectic week well spent with people whom i care for and who love me the most and i am back with more news:) Sankranti was spent with family and loads of food and lot of travelling and there were a few moments which i want to erase from my memory and try not to repeat it ever again and i hope to follow a few rules made by me and i want to control my anger and frustration,why can't i just hold on for a few more minutes? why do i have to raise my voice or get it out of the system what ever the reaction is? Well,thats how i am,no acting or no diplomacy,no nonsense and i end up in trouble most of the times:)
There would be new collegues in the dept from tomorrow onwards,i wouldn say i am looking forward to the changes but hope things would be as fine as they are now.
Too many questions in my head and i have no answers to any of them;p

I want to learn French,and i am still not able to figure out WHY?

I am watching the baap of all the serials "BIGBOSS" on Sony entertainment and am thoroughly entertained every day 10pm to 11pm.No answers to "HOW"

I know i am soon leaving this city but the question is "WHEN" and i have no idea.

And i want to run away,elope now with dear hubby,kidnap him away from his workholic schedule,now the point is to "WHERE"

Do you want to watch Mithun chakravarthy the performer,Not Abhishek but Gurukanth Desai and excellent cinematography by Rajeev menon,and above all a good movie by Maniratnam,go watch GURU people,excellent movie and i thoroughly enjoyed it first day last show;p though i am not much convinced about the ending of the movie its a great entertainer with a message,Dare to dream,dare to make them real and also it was one of the most enjoyed evening of my 8 months married life,a movie with hubby and two of my best friends K & S and long drive home at mid night bugging hubby till he got me the long due icecream,while he was busy driving i was busy eating:)

Me :Why dont you drive faaaaaaaaaaaaast,overtake that vehicle in front"
Hubby: Well,with you behind the bike wont go beyond this speed"

Me: You mean i am plump? you are talking about my weight,mean fellow,i hate you"
Hubby: Errrr,i am only saying its not safe driving so fast with you behind"
Yeah right@#$%@#@$%@ huh,men! ! ! !

Was listening to this song today,missing you dear hubby,wish i can join you in the new place at this moment,but well,just a matter of two months:) till then enjoy your independence;p

Na jaane kyon, hota hai yeh zindagi ke saath
achanak ye man
kisi ke jaane ke baad, kare phir usiki yaad
chhoti chhoti si baat, na jaane kyon
vo anjaan pal,Dhal gaye kal, aaj vo
rang badal badal, man ko machal machal rahen,
na chal na jaane kyon, vo anjaan pal
tere bina mere nainon me
Toote re haay re sapanon ke mahal
na jaane kyon, hota hai yeh zindagi ke saath ..

VariousMoods

Do you want to watch Mithun chakravarthy the performer,Not Abhishek but Gurukanth Desai and excellent cinematography by Rajeev menon,and above all a good movie by Maniratnam,go watch GURU people,excellent movie and i thoroughly enjoyed it first day last show;p though i am not much convinced about the ending of the movie its a great entertainer with a message,Dare to dream,dare to make them real and also it was one of the most enjoyed evening of my 8 months married life,a movie with hubby and two of my best friends K & S and long drive home at mid night bugging hubby till he got me the long due icecream,while he was busy driving i was busy eating:)

Me :Why dont you drive faaaaaaaaaaaaast,overtake that vehicle in front"

Hubby: Well,with you behind the bike wont go beyond this speed"

Me: You mean i am plump? you are talking about my weight,mean fellow,i hate you"

Hubby: Errrr,i am only saying its not safe driving so fast with you behind"
huh,men! ! ! !

These two are the most important members of our family,Sometimes i wonder how it would have been had they used words to express their thoughts,what do they think of us? what do they feel about me?Their eyes say it all,and they fondly lick my face while i am sleeping,if i am crying they come and touch my hand,the moment i enter the house they bark and bark till i give them a big hug,they mob me and they keep searching my bag to see what i got them to eat.
Raja likes samosas and mirchibajji and all that we humans shall eat,he states it clearly through his actions that he is also a human,he hates fellow dogs,and he would sleep only on the bed,on the chair he sits and he relaxes on the diwan,He makes sure we know clearly about his rights and keeps reminding about our dutues towards him:)

and Sandy is the mild one,well,one look at his eyes and whole world will curse our family that we might be torturing him,dont give him food and that he is facing it all humiliation with silence,well,his eyes are always sad but he is the most pampered and the kid of the house,He needs mom all the time, he follows her religiously where ever she goes, today when i look back past few years of this house i know we laughed more and smiled more because of them,we bonded more as a family because of them,we forgot egos because of them,we felt more secure because of them, this is for you both my dear kiddos,you make our existence complete:) keep rocking.

Chote chote sapne..zindagi ke.

I have been humming this song past two days and it goes with my mood too."Tum Bhi chalo hum bhi chale ,chalti rahe zindagi,Na Zameen manzil na aasman ,zindagi hai zindagi,Peechhen dekhe na kabhi mudke raahon mein,Jhoome mera dil tumhe leke baahon mein,Dhadkon ki jubaan nith kahe daastan,Pyar ki jhilmil chhaon mein, Palti rahe zindagi"

Winter is here and atlast i could feel the chill in the air,i love this season,something about it makes me feel content and happy.The first sun rays,the morning dew,lazy days and cozy nights and freshness in the air,the festivities of Christmas and new year all around and fresh flowers and lots of greenery all around.I love this season. Went home a few days back and my house was all filled with flowers and greenery and its so cold when compared to our apt.Miss being there and being with mom.But then chaltha hain na:)

Dear Hubby,
I felt strange today,I still have no idea how come you are not excited about it,How can you sleep like a log and not taking any calls at middle of the night,How can you not wear new dress or how can you not feel special,How can you go about your routine and be content with home cooked food and prefer staying home with a few movies and music and sweets.
How come you don't jump around or worry about the day coming to an end,How come you are not sad that you have to wait for one more year to feel it all again,and the only shocked reaction pleasantly was when you saw mom and bro calling you at middle of the night just to say that they are waiting at the gate to wish,they traveled all the way to give a surprise to you and you were not ready to believe it that they came all the way to be with you for 10 min,and i know its kind of new to you to see so much of affection but then you better get used to it all and by the way did you get my two messages which i sent yesterday night when you were snoring away to glory?
You never showed any reaction! ! ! ! but then i got adjusted to your way of living already,so Here it is for you my dearest husband........Happy Birthday To You. No problem if you want to celebrate it your way or not to celebrate it at all,but i will keep celebrating it for you and by the way I don't want my birthday to be this way,you already have a taste of it and please do keep giving me bigger surprises and biiiiiiiiiiiiiig and huuuuuuuuuuuuge gifts every year.God bless you and have a wonderful life {with me},Keep behaving,keep listening to me,please keep waking up at 6am to open the door to the maid,and make your own coffee and keep filling those water bottles and keep saying that whatever i cook is good {i would prefer you say wonderful} and more than anything please do let me use the laptop all the time and follow the instructions when i give them:D
Your loving commanding,demanding,dictator wife.

Dear hubby called me while i was out
Him: I am hungry and cooking rice,how many whistles do i wait for?

Me: R u sure you can handle it? clean the rice and pour a glass of water and use the gas cut and then wait for two whistles,and the whistle is in that small box on the right side of the platform.

Him:Oh,i can handle it,you don't worry.

After half and hour i called him up to see whats up.
Me: had your food?
Him: No,i am still waiting for the whistle.
Me: whattttttttt? it hardly takes 10 min for that small cooker,what did you do?
Him: Nothing.

Me: What do you mean nothing {then it occurred to me} did you light the gas stove??
Him: Oh { i heard him muttering to self but he quickly recovered and says } But you never told me to on the gas.

Huh,Men!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another milestone;p

6 months of togetherness.
May7th-Nov7th.
Thankyou for everything dear god.
Life has been good.


My exp post wedding.

"So here i am ,learn t so many things which i never did when at home,when i was just a daughter,i always demanded there and got it all easily,here:) i leanrt to live and live it in my own way,work my way through a path which i carve myself.
Learnt cooking,cleaning,waking up early,washing cothes,worrying about getting them ironed,handling the servant,breakfast varieties,browsing through food blogs,still travelling in auto,learnt to live in an apt,climbs all three floor steps {no lift},can make roti in the shape of roti {almost},eating lot of fruits:(, i have solutions for clogged kitchen sinks,variety of floor cleaners,the new broomstick which i need to buy,that roomfreshner i need to change,and @#$%##@$.
And these days when i call up my best friend we both end up talking about servant or wasted food or which super mkt has good trash bags,and there was a time when it was all about movies and partying and music and hours of non stop nonsense.
also learnt to let someone else pay bills and whatever.I actually neednot worry about them all:) feels good,isnt it,learnt to live with a person who can be silent for 5hrs 45min at a stretch {that was the time counted in the latest exp when we both were not sleeping and in the same house,he dint say word for that much time,Hmmm,now i know why people say i talk less these days,"sangat ka asar hain bhai.In and all,life has been good,thanks to him.

Now i had to coherse him to write these few lines about his experiences,literally threaten, shed a few tears,even warned that i will stage a walkout,a dharna and sigh,he said OK atlast.

Sri's version of life after wedding.

Hi,well,life is the same as before,Errrrrrrrr,let me change that before i can hear some thrashing sounds from her.Life has been good,Not many changes,Or..Hell,Yes,there are lot of changes post wedding,the biggest of them is now i worry about a tomorrow,my....oh..sorry,Our future,i plan and became more conservative in my approach,i worry,i play cautious when see risk.
well,there are changes,my phonebills have gone down,weekend parties have been cutoff,now when i am going out with friends i better make sure to inform before its too late {before the dinner is planned at home,mind you,only plan,not the actual cooking,she hates her plans to be busted} I know how to make the beds now,i now know that as soon as we wakeup we need to foldup our blanket {huh,why?dont we use it again tonight,so why fold it atall????}
i now know that eating at home needs lot of work {but why cant we eatout as before?} i now know that filling waterbottles is a daily chore and i know that green vegetables can be of different varities {next time i will ask for spinach instead of greenleaves} and i know that corriander is to be bought in a limited quantity,not in 50 bunches just because we get it cheap.
And now i realise the word Driver whenever i take her out for shopping.i still have no idea what she does in a shopping complex for more than 3hrs,all i know is to carry a bag or a trolly while she regally inspects all the items in the mkt which we donot even need in our whole life,she can talk endlessly,abt quality,quantity,hell,she can talk about that watchman or salesperson also,even about our neighbours dog also
.why do we have to match curtains to doormats to table covers? how does it matter if we read the newspaper in bed? how does it matter if we have breakfast at 11am or have 4cups of coffee insted of 2?why do we have to take bath in the morning on a weekend? why should we always remember the word "cleanliness is next to godliness" always {somuch so that it is made as a poster in my room now}
Errrrrr,Sure life has been good,for a simple reason that now i have someone to got home to,Someone who loves me unconditionally! ! ! ! ! But lot of conditions for my lifestyle though.
Now i can go back peacefully to watching TV,let me search for the remote which she hid till i finish writing this,Cya sometime again,till then be good and havefun.

Another New Day

After completing exactly 5 months 20 odd days being married i feel Life has been fair enough.By the way dont we all remember "First Birthday,First gift,First kiss,first crush blah blah blah" well,i realised lately that my Firsts after wedding are fast disappearing and everything is falling into a routine,My first cooking senssion,my first shravanagauri vratam,my first festival after wedding,my first diwali,my first exp of being responsible for major decisions,they are fast becoming a part of memories,now its all the same everyday,cooking,festivals and being the decisionmaker and servant of the house at the same time:) But lot of firsts are still remaining,No worries,even they all vanish i will find something new all the time,i wont let this word Routine eat me alive,No way.

Sometimes i feel scared,Time is just rushing,or is it my life? even before i realise what all i did or have to finish for a day its gone,There is Another day and Another exprience and i feel rushed,i want to sit back and look at the life,my life,laidback,remembering good old days,smiling at the wonderful yesterdays and not working for a future but its not possible,Not at this stage,i just begin a new life,a new world,mine,a smallone,lot of new people whom i am trying to understand still,they are trying to accept me into their lifes too,and its been good till now,touchwood.

And i still have no second opinions about hubby being the best:) Or do i? well,at times i do threaten him that i will put an adv for a new husband material he says Go ahead:( thats when i realise i am stuck with him:) for lifetime,He is someone whom i want to share my life with,But,well,there are always If's and buts in life,isnt it?


I am a diehard romantic at heart,But i found the truth about hubby the hardway,The other day "Mausam suhana tha,thandi hawa chalrahi thi aur sageet ke saaz cheddi humne aur pati mahashai ko phone lagaya {Climate was beautiful,light was breeze making me feel good, and i just called up hubby with an idea}

Me "Darling,it feels so good today,lets have a candle light dinner tonight,what say?

Hubby: Oh whynot Ji,start lighting up the candles,i am on my way home,what did you cook by the way?
{all i wanted to do is to go out for a dinner}

The other day we were watching our wedding CD and he was very serious and grim looking at this particular scene where we both were laughing at something.

Me:Why are you looking so serious.

Hubby:I am not serious,I am Sad

Me:Why

Hubby:whynot? i am looking at the last day when i laughed somuch:( I lost my independence on 7th of May.2006:(

Huh,Men! ! !


Was in kitchen for an hour and in frustration i screamed "Why dont you help me here instead of watching that stupid newschannel"?
Hubby:But i did help you,dint i??
Oh yeah? in what way?

Hubby: I filled waterbottles and put them in fridge:D
@$#%$^$@ ---how would filling 2 waterbottles equals making daal chawal,bhindi and rasam? Go figure.

Life has been good,every new day brings in new smiles,new experiences and new challenges,I am bracing myself for all of it,I am enjoying it the way it is:)