Sunday, January 10, 2010

"Dil ki Kalam se"

I guess she still hopes to see Raja again, Never been alone from the day we brought her home, Raja was her hero, her partner and the one whom she followed everywhere and now she is all over the house searching for him. But i guess in last two months she got used to his absence but then at times there is that look on her face which shows the loneliness. I wish death never happens but i know its a bitter truth and we all have to live with it. I only hope to be a little more stronger and accept this truth. Cannot let it break me down so badly.

15yrs of friendship and a small argument and i heard a line from a dear friend saying "we are not asking you people to leave, we want a separate state, you can live here if you want" and it made me speechless. Stung like a bee, who am i? Coming from one of the most fertile region is my mom and dad from one of the most backward region and i am born and brought up in Hyderabad.Settled in Bangalore, so where do i belong to? Regionalism took way the faith in a 15yr old relationship. Hurt and angry, i don't want to take calls from him. Don't know if i am wrong but for now, i feel much better to be away from arguments about division of states:)

Hubby is in Hyd, been home alone past three days, it feels so good and i also realized something, When he is away i miss him and when he is at home i always crib and argue with him (well, not always) When at home he doesn't talk much but when he is out of town he will sure call every few hrs to know if i am OK and if i had my food.Brings a smile, strange relation this one, says nothing but makes you feel so special yet.
He is bringing this plant(Radha manoharam) from amma's garden, holding it in a box and keeping it on the berth in the train, because i love the feel of having a plant from home,to make me feel a part of the place i grew up in.

I am happy, i know its not easy for him to do all this, the one who travels only with his laptop and minimum luggage and prefers a flight most of the time, not easy to bring plants, fruits and veggies and home made sweets and my sarees and random list of purchases which i demand from amma and MIL. He will crib but he will bring them all, in a train, missing his precious sleep and when i am opening all those packets he sits there silently, listening to me, not understanding half of the importance of each little thing there but still trying to understand the emotions. Thanku Sri:)

New year, new hopes and i wish half of them to turn to reality. Winter is fading away slowly, The morning sun brings nice warm feeling and my garden is in bloom.Roses and hibiscus which i use for the morning puja and the sunlight early in the morning covering my kitchen utility and the the smell of incense sticks and the smell of strong coffee, the vibrant colors of nature all around and silence in the house,
I thank god for the peace and for the hope. I don't believe in resolutions but i promise myself about a few things. One, i will continue blogging, it helps and second, I won't let the weaker me take over my strength, i wont let myself hurt so much that ----------, i wont let anybody play with my emotions, Simply stating, i won't let anyone make me cry easily and i wont loose my patience. And yes, one last but most imp for me, I will accept life as it comes to me:)

Cheers, have a wonderful Monday morning all of you. Thank you for all the comments in the last post, means alot to me. Makes me happy, makes me smile and makes me write:)

I am listening to "Phoolon Ke Rang Se Dil Ki Kalam Se Tujhko Likhi Roz Paati, Kaise Bataaoon Kis Kis Tarah Se Pal Pal Mujhe Tu Sataati, Tere Hi Sapne Lekar Ke Soya Teri Hi Yaadon Mein Jaaga,Tere Khayaalon Mein Uljha Raha Yoon Jaise Ki Maala Mein Dhaaga" from Prem pujari. Heard it before? if not go and listen to it. One of the most beautiful songs:)


Ganga said...

I hope your hubby brings everything that you want. :)
This post makes me to remember when lavanya asked me to bring so many things. But i failed to do that. So sorry for her.

Btw, a very happy new year to you and Sri.

Sree said...

This post seems to be just out of my mouth.. oops pen in some ways, especially the friend part, the garden part, memories part...

It truly does feel good to be able to at least bring back something from home if not each and everything... Enjoy every single moment N, thats the way!!!!

Hirdu said...

:) keep writing...we all enjoy the reads...

Manish Kumar said...

Don't know if separate state can solve the problem. Small states are not bad but then poltical leadership shoul work for people not for their personal gains. Look what has hapanned in Jharkhand..

Art said...

Happy New Year... Husbands are made that way I guess :)

Anonymous said...

beautiful post. never stop writing, neelima.

Prati said...

Hi Neels, WIshing you all happiness, love and peace all throughout the year :-)
< Hugs >

Alapana said...

Ganga, you can start now, bring things whenever she asks for:)

Sree, thank you, trying to steal every moment of joy:)

Hirdu, thanks

Alapana said...

Manishji, it became a controversy only because of the politicians, division will never help.

Arathi, they are made like that, yes:)

Anumitha, thank you somuch:)

Pratima :)


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