Friday, July 14, 2006

It always amazes me,everytime i win it poses another challenge,everytime i try to have a fight with it,i try to aruge,i crib saying it is unfair to do that to me,i cry,i giveup,i wail but in vain,ultimately i just accept the fact and fightback my way to survival,It sure has a last laugh always,it knows how to make us move on,amazing grit and determination,it just dosnt giveup for anything.Ya,i am talking abt LIFE,it amazes me with its rare but sure quality of not givingup, throwing us into endless emotions,churing up so many feelings.It knows how to take a human life on a rollercoaster ride.It sure knows how to turnaround everything and surprize us all.
I miss something today,i miss someone today,maybe i miss a part of me which went away along with you,you whom i cannot frame anywhere now,You who is without an image,but you still exist.How is it possible? Imageless but still living at some corner of my heart,when i feel you are no more you make a sound which wakes me up in the silence of the night and i walk into the lanes of memory,there is lot of mist there,i cannot makeout where you are,but yes,i can feel you,silently walking around me,and when i turn towards you,there is nothing there,Absolutely nothing.....blank screen where i only see my shadow,is it mine or yours??? Are you still walking along with me silently? I have no answers.

ret par likh ke mera naam mitaaya na karo
ankheN sach bholthi haiN, pyaar chupaaya na karo

[After writing my name on the sand, don't erase it away
Eyes always speak the truth, don't hide your love

log har baat ka afsaana banaa lethe haiN
sabko haalaath ki rudaad sunaaya na karo

[People will make stories out of everything
Don't tell everybody of your sad state of affairs]

yeh zaroori nahiN har shaqs massiah hi ho
pyaar ke zakm amaanat haiN, dikhaaya na karo

It is not necessary that every person be a messiah/doctor
The wounds of love are a treasure/prized possession, don't expose/show them]

shaher-e-ehsaas meiN patraav bahut haiN, 'mohsin'
dil ko sheeshe ke jharoNkhoN meiN sajaaya na karo

[In the city of feelings, there are a lot of stony pathways, 'mohsin'
Don't decorate your heart behind a curtain of glass.
Mohsin...

Past few days were tough to handle,when everything was going wrong,first handling the pressures of being wed into a large family with scores of relatives and different attitudes and egos and just when i thought thank god all is fine came up moms health.It was tough,seeing her in bed for 10days almost scared me the most,when i saw her unconcious and lying there helpless,alone, i couldn take it,shell shocked but still i had to go on,fight with god,fight with destiny,sending up a silent prayer i rushed her to the hospital.I missed my brother the most last few days,when he called up i broke down but then i told him i can handle it,i always do,she is fine now,recovering.
and when i am back to my work and hubby now i am sick:( Food poisoning or some nonsense,its taking up all my energy to be positive,today morning i almost screamed in frustration and asusual he was calm and trying to soothe me out of my irritation.Staying home for such long spells that too all alone makes me moody.the silence gets over me at times:(
Loads of blog hopping to be followed soon:)

27 comments:

justme said...

d moment i read your blog , i had a feeling i ve read this style somewhere.. i ve heard this heart talk away nad take my breath away with its writing..
now i know who thy is..!!
want me to confirm it? or u want the anonimity?
now.. lemme read this post..!!

justme said...

take care of your health..!!

Atul Sabnis said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Stone said...

hope ur mom is fine now!
take care

Manish said...

Nice to know that ur mom is recovering!

d4u said...

Take care...

Keshi said...

Get well soon Alapana, plz TC!

** its rare but sure quality of not givingup

its always there na...hidden behind time, it's somewhere there. And time heals everything. Time gives us courage and strength to face things we never thought we would come to terms with. Human courage is just amazing!

Keshi.

Zebigleb said...

Very very nice blog
I'll come back here

kaunquest said...

prayers and best wishes. Keep the faith and you will get through fine :)

Atul Sabnis said...

take care - and only you know how to do it - do it right :)

Ardra said...

dear,
do take care- u're strong, and the invisible footsteps will always be by u'r side- or at times carrying u over all crises- this shall too pass..hope u're mother getrs well soon...
and u too take care of u'r health
lots of luv
ardra
since blogspot has been banned by indian isps, i'm making a backdoor entry...

Neelima Arora said...

Hi Alps!
Plz do take care of urself.This phase too will pass and your mom will be all right.I would like to suggestsomething if you don't mind, plz change the look of neocounter, it doesnot go with the theme and they have a feature of customising look.

ketki said...

my best wishes alpana!
hope u r mom gets well soon!
:)
and yes
, ur blog's got gr8 pics!!!!!!!

satish jupalli said...

HI Alps,

Hope ur doing good.

I hope u were not hit by the recent ban on blogs by the great Government Of India.

Alapana said...

just me :) Was it that easy? then i must do soemthing to keep up the anonimity . Well,but for my friends,i am the same as before:).
Thanks,i will take care.

Stoneji,She is recovering,thankyou.

manishji,it is:)

Alapana said...

d4u,will do:)

keshi,i am perfect now,yeah,huamn courage always amazes me,its only we who has the ability to not give up and fight back with the odds of life,strange that we always decide to give up,but deep down we know we will be back to our best again.

Zebigleb,thankyou.

kaunquest,will do.thankyou.

Alapana said...

atul,yes,i know i can do it right and i will do so.

Hey ardra,sure will takecare,even i am hit by the block,so no blog hopping these days,and its all been very hectic,will sure come back and mail you too.

Neelima,your suggestion made me smile,because i knew the colour dosnt go well with the background of my blog,but somemhow i have been lazy to change it.will do so soon.

Ketki,thankyou,your blog looks sweet with all those posts which talk about your mom and relatives:)

Alapana said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Alapana said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Alapana said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Alapana said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Alapana said...

satish,i am doing good,thankyou,but been busy.Ofcourse i was hit by the ban imposed,but trying not be affected by it all.

Gangadhar said...

How's you?

justme said...

it was easy once i knew u ve been on my TAG board :-)

Usha said...

I am so sorry girl - but I am sure you handled it with your usual efficiency. I hope things are better now. How is your mom now? My prayers and best wishes for things to settle down and hoping to see you smile soon. Please let me know if you'd like to talk or need a hand to hold

Smiling Girl said...

How are u feeling now? And how is ur Mom doing?

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