Sunday, October 14, 2007

Passing Clouds....

It is one of those days,when everything seems perfect but still something is not right,there are people around but you still feel alone, there is music going on but you still crave for words,and when words begin you wish silence dawns, i know its just a passing moment lingering a bit longer but then it suffocates, tears cloud the vision and when someone asks why? what? I have no reasons, does it happen?
When a student whom i was talking to said she just feels like crying and there is no reason and that all is fine and she still wants to cry her friends scolded her,were not ready to believe her,They said she doesn't trust them enough to tell them the reason,they said she is being mean by not sharing the pain, and as a last resort they brought her to their Marketing ma'am whom they come anytime for any reason,Thats me, i didn't know what to say to her friends,how to convince them that its ok to cry with out a reason,to be gloomy with out reasoning it out,

They are kids, 19yrs old but for me they are kids,they will grow up the day they step into this real world filled with opportunities, competition, and where they have no idea who is a friend and a foe and that day they grow up to the worldly manners and then they loose their innocence, They stop asking questions and find answers themselves as per their experiences but for now they are a gang of ever giggling smart innocent kids living amidst protective family, teachers, friends, college life.....
But i could say something to the girl, held her hand and said It happens and that it happens to me also,and that its perfectly normal to cry with out a reason, she did not trust me,there were questions in her eyes,tears filling up and all i could do was give her a hug and holding the hand and assure that she will be fine no sooner.She went home then, gloomy, uncertain and confused, her friends quite and they left,not as usual to the canteen but to home , And in the night i got an sms,from the girl "Ma'am ,i am fine, i dint cry after that,i just went home and slept,i am fine ma'am,i am so sorry for bothering ,Silly me, simply crying with out a reason"

Next day while coming back from a class i saw my good old bunch of marketing students again, heading towards the canteen, laughing and singing,pulling each others leg, there she was, cute sweet girl, laughing and jumping and being herself , they waved at me "Ma'am come with us for a movie today" Hahahaha, i knew they are back to normal, maybe some other time i will join them for a movie or maybe not, For now we ended up with smiles.

And today i just remembered her line again "Silly me,crying without a reason" Yeah,silly me:) maybe i should just go and sleep and when i wake up all will be fine, happens,all the time,atleast with me,... Does it happen to you all?

Yesterday a blog friend said "I miss the good old days of blogging, so many people who are missing in action" and it set me thinking, three full years, so many people came and left,some still writing but the connection is lost somewhere, the blog roll is still the same but the link is missing, there used to be a bonding, there used to be favorites and there used to be mails and replies and calls and worrying if we don't find a post, " all gone,I am an empty man today" remember the line....
Good old days,how we crave for something long gone.....i was saying the same yesterday to an ex colleague. I miss Anumita, Khandu, Suhail, Gayatri, Surinder, Arathi, Ashish, Anand, Manishji, Pallavi, Ardra, saurabh, ishani................. {Some are still writing but then..............the charm of blogging is lost somewhere}


Will i also stop writing one day? Don't know,for now i know i come to write whenever i feel like but how many days do we all come back to an empty house?

Am listening to this beautiful song from Sawariya "Jab se tere nainaa,mere naino.n se laage re, tabse dewaana hua,sabse begaana hua, rab bhi dewana laage re......" Shan's voice has some magic and i am hooked the song:)

18 comments:

Surinder said...

maybe people are missing in action .. but i dont think bonding can go away that easily .. people do get busy with life .. but dont think they forget their friends :)

Surinder said...

and i like the "masha-allah" song more :D

desperado said...

I hope you dont stop writing...but yeah you never know
Back here after a long long time

@$#!$# said...

hello....i am here only yaar...miss kyo kar rahe ho?

waise u r right, the charm of blogging has become less, but aren't we ourselves to blame for it? there is always the reinvention, the new URLs(u also got aalapana.net see) that keep going on...

so keep trying to work the charm, it is still there somewhere hiding...bring it back out..i m with u on this :)

anumita said...

I was thinking of exactly the same thing. I miss the good old days... I miss the people... but I dont think the bond is really gone. For whenever I log on... I check up on the old blogs hoping for something to read... for that is the connection! I try to reconnect with stored up memories...

~nm said...

I really liked the intensity with which you write...about little things and big things...about people..about their feelings...about your feelings :)

I was also wondering if someday I will also lose the charm of blogging like I have seen lots of others lose it? I wonder...

P.S. Thanks for being such an avid reader of my blog. I've added you to my google reader and will be a regular visitor to yours too!

Art said...

hey.. I totally agree with u.. I also cry without any reason.. There are lot of such gloomy days too..

Blogging..surely most of the old people whom I was used to reading in my comments section is just not there..

I still try to write 2-3 times a month :) Once upon a time that used to be weekly

I like to come to ur blog and read all those moments you beautifully knit and potray :)

Stone said...

100% agree with Surinder, friends made during intial 1-2 yrs of blogging are and will always remain special.

Me too losing the charm n drive to write something, but still hanging-in there with a hope to become regular someday :-)

starry nights said...

I hold on to the good old days thats what gives me solice.

jupallis said...

hmmmmm....
now what should I say... If the person who inspired me to the world of blogging feels so (:

Plz dont go :)....
"Happy Days" will come back...

My Life, My Music....... said...

Oh that post almost made me cry. I find that now that I'm in my mid 20s, I'm finding I appreciate my good friendships more, and have less patience for the superficial.
Time sure flies real fast when you are in the company of old friends, but if there is one thing i do know, is that, no matter where around the world your friends are, that bond is never gonna break.

On that note, can't wait to see them tonight!:)

jarvarm said...

..the charm of blogging is lost somewhere
hmm. I don't know i agree with this or not. But i can say the frequecy of blogging is lost. Both are the same?
But whenevr i wanna write or read, i put full efforts and concentration on writing or reading the post.
I miss you alaps..But always look forward to see your writing..

take care

Gangadhar

Alapana said...

Yup,we all get busy with life but hope it is true that we don't forget our friends,waise surindersingh ji,aap hain kahaan aaj kal? online bhi nahi hote? and yes,the song masha allah grows slowly on you,its my current fav too:)

Dhruv,well,i hope that too and yes,its been a long time:)

Alapana said...

Ashish,i don't know how reinventions make us loose the charm of a bonding? new url or new template is nothing to do but we all are getting busy in real world that here our virtual masks are wearing away,no time or not interested? no idea:)

Anumita, feels good to see your name in the comment list always,brings back the charm:) its been two years since we are commenting on each others blog i guess,virtual but real isn't it.

Alapana said...

~nm,thank you for the wonderful words, i wish and hope you keep writing,for you its just not a blog,you are just stocking away your son's growth,his childhood stories, and whenever you read them you will relive his childhood again and have a smile and so would your son when he grows up:) so keep writing.

Arathi,waiting for you to come back,and its been two years when i first met you as a blogger,girl,its been so long already? time i say just flies away...

Alapana said...

Stoneji, don't stop writing,those 1 or 2 posts even though about cricket make me feel that the good old buddies are still around,you,me surinder,anumita..lets keep going buddy:)

starry,good for you,i hope to do so too.

Alapana said...

Satish,keep writing and so will i:) atleast i will try and by the way can we have something else as a post instead about the eating habits and monkey brain and blah,yeeeeeeeeks,why did you even write about it??? rest i will mail you soon;)

mylife,mymusic,hope you had a wonderful time with the friends and yes,its not about the superficial relations at all,even i have no patience for such relations:)

Alapana said...

jarvarm, well,for me its the opposite i guess,previously it used to be a effortless writing whenever i wanted to and now i need to take out time,put in effort,plan for it and then gather my thought,well,for me anything which needs such effort in creativity looses its charm and becomes a chore,a work and which i dont feel like doing anymore:)

 

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