Sunday, March 15, 2009

"Musafir"


At 11.30 pm i wanted to write, i want to write a post, its raining, Alone at home, i kept listening to the rain drops, the sounds, the silence, and i wanted to listen to the songs from my phone but which one? I started checking the list..." Megha chaye aadhi raat, bairan hogayii nindiya.. bathaa main kya karoon.." or "teraa meraa pyar amar, fir kyon mujhko lagtha hain darr..." or "Musaafir hoon main yaaron. na ghar hain na tikaana.." or naam gumjaayega, chehraa ye badal jayega.." or "Aanewaala pal, jaanewala hain" 74 songs and i just kept checking and then it came, the one which made me getup and switch on my laptop again.

"Neela Aasmaan So Gaya,...
aansu'on Mein Chand Dooba Raat Murjhaayi ,
zindagi Mein Door Tak Phaili Hai Tanhaayi ,
jo Guzre Ham Pe Woh Kam Hai,
tumhaare Gham Ka Mausam Hai
Yaad Ki Waadi Mein Goonje Beete Afsaane
hamsafar Jo Kal The Ab Thehre Woh Begaane"

Kept listening to the song again and again, started typing but all those lines which i frmaed mentally are gone now. blank again!!!! I dont know what to write or i forgot.
The next song started on my music player, its a tamil song, from my favourite movie "Mounaraagam" All these days i wanted the telugu verson of it, and today when i found it i realised i dont want to listen to it. i will stick to what i was listening to before. Same singer, same lyricist and music director i guess but somewhere something was missing. Happens, does it happen with you? same but not the same?
I am the same old person but i heard a friend saying " You changed" Maybe i did. Or maybe not. Who has the time or need to think. I like just the flow of it, of life i mean. What may seem right today may feel utter foolish in future. there is nothing called right or wrong. Its situational. Now i feel better. I stopped arguing, fighting for anything, using words, i keep mum, silent, busy with my readers digest and music when at work, with my tv or novel when at home. I feel good, i feel fine, i am happy this way too:) I dont miss anything, Today i am happy, as always.

Music never can make me sad. It only makes me silent, it takes me back to memories and then there i feel my eyes are moist:) I am listening to "Hum the jinke sahaare, woh hue na humaare, doobi jab dil ki nayaa,........ and i know the one next in the list..." Ek main aur ek thu hain,aur hawa mein jadoo hain" i can listen to both one after the other.

I switch to my all time fav...." Musafir hoon main yaaron, na ghar hain na tikhaana,bas chalthe jaana hain....."

I dont want to write now, i dont know if i will write again, i dont remember i have a blog many times, i do read other blogs, but silent, no comments, just vanish. I dont know why but my favourite word always would be "Silence" Maybe thats why when i started blogging..i called it "Expressions of Silence"

I wont say goodbye, but then who knows............ I suddenly tried remembering bloggers who now left blog world, we tried keeping in touch, and then slowly it started fading away, the emotions, the feeling. Busy is the word. there are so many. Do they remember me? I still do. I guess i will remember everyone who made a difference, at Akruti or now at Alapana.

I want to come back but now i dont believe in Promises. Don't wait for me, But will u be here when i come back? i hate empty houses, but then i am the first one to leave...... Maybe good bye:)

12 comments:

Gauri said...

Those songs that you listed out - rank among my favorites too :). And then there would be a whole list of Gulzar songs that would follow.

Yes, there does come a stage in life or rather stages in life when suddenly everything that had seemed so familiar before - are a shade different. Probably the change is in us or probably the object/subject of our attention .... one of life's many vagaries, mysteries ...

But if there's one thing that is a constant thru life - it is change :).

Take care and I hope you find what you are looking for ....

I do hope to see you back here.

Hugs

Gauri

diya said...

There are moments like these in every life when you just sit back and let things go...watch the world go by without making it feel your own presence. I feel envious of trees who by their nature have this quality of silent observers...what would it be like to be a tree and watch ages pass by, I wonder!

Stone said...

Hi...
I don't know what to write here, but of one thing I'm 100% sure is that I'll be around always.

I've been daily visiting your blog(s) for past 4+ years, and will continue to do so.

Please don't vanish just like that.

Take care!

Sree said...

I just hope it is a phase and you will be back pouring your felings sensitively and sensibly.. will miss you!!

Vamsi Krishna said...

i am sure you will come back one day....meanwhile, have fun:)...

Anonymous said...

Hello Nilima,

Have faith in God n faith n Life. There are certain things in life, with one get upset...but then keep faith in god n urself too

I am too, one of the silent visitor of ur Blog ...Please don't leave like this...:( :(

take ur time...will be looking fwd to read u back....will miss u..

shuba said...

alapana, where were you just disappeared like that . my joy knew no bounds when your blogs started resurfacing. please dont stop blogging just realise that there are people like me who look forward to each day for your blogs. you know your blogs have a soothing effect on disturbed minds. it just lifts the blues out of your life. the songs (all of them)favourite of mine as well just takes you down the memory lane----please just dont stop blogging please continue it as long as u can and spread happiness around or rather show how to find the true essence of happiness in a flower pot , a spicy recipe or a good song . ultimately all that matters is the smile on our face looking at it ,tasting it or rather hearing it

Suspended Animation said...

I'll be here when you come back.. I was here when you moved.. I was here when I lost your new blog address..

And I hope I'll be here when you decide to come back...

Its not a promise.. its just hope...

jupallis said...

I would be happy if it's break and hope that it is just silence before the strom.(strom of posts)

Good Bye : Good Byes are not an end. They simply mean I'll miss you, Untill we meet again. -unknown author).

I hope this quote will turnout to be true.

anumita said...

your writings have that rare quality of honesty and feelings... simple and touching... they transport one to a different world.
Allow us the pleasure to keep reading.

Arunima said...

the songs that you've mentioned are quite nice.

A lot of bloggers have stopped blogging but many pop up each day. I have come to the stage where I don't really mind writing only when I feel like it but I have not given up blogging and I don't think I would even if it would be just one post a month. Hope to keep reading you. It is nice to see people that I have known from many years keep blogging. I don't really care if they are popular or not, I have mattered to them and they have mattered to me. So, never say never.

Sujata said...

"Music never can make me sad. It only makes me silent, it takes me back to memories and then there i feel my eyes are moist:)"

happens to me many a times...

 

Designed By Blogs Gone Wild!