Saturday, May 27, 2006

"kataraa kataraa milatii hai,kataraa kataraa jiine dozindagii hai, bahane do"

Such is life and such are the experiences,ts been raining past two days,suddenly the temperatures came down,from the scrotching heat now its the rain dops which greet me when i walk into the balcony,yes,now i talk of balcony and my flat in the third floor,what a change,all my life i stayed in a independent house,and now suddenly i am instructed to keep the doors close,instead of greenery i see concrete jungle all the way my eyes travel,yet another change,and how do i cope up,when people ask me,when mom asks me if i can handle it all,i smile,maybe because i know its not easy,it was not easy past one week,but then i know something
"Its easy to complain,but its even more easy to see the brighter side of life,and when you do so you find your smiles and happiness coming back to you silently and being with you forever"
so i am happy,happy setting up my house, small two bed room flat,with terracota pots,snow white teddy bears,jingle bells,lamps and twinkling lights,and diyas,fresh flowers and bright sunlight welcome me in my room,and they make me smile,i am happy being here,i tell myself and that makes my day.

chhoTii sii kahaanii se, baarishon kii paanii se
saarii vaadii bhar gayii
na jaane kyon, dil bhar gayaa
na jaane kyon aaNkh bhar gayii

rukatii hai chalatii hai
kabhii barasatii hai
baadal pe paa.Nv rakh ke
baarish machalatii hai la la
chhoTii sii kahaanii se

shaaKon pe patte the
patto.n me.n buu.Nde thii.n
buu.Ndo.n me.n paanii thaa
paanii me.n aa.Nsuu thaa
chhoTii sii kahaanii se

pehle mile bhii the
dil me.n gile bhii the
mil ke paraaye the
do ham_saaye the
chhoti si kahaani se...

Sunday, May 21, 2006


water lillies
There are changes,loads of them,lot of them,a few which still seem scary,a lot which make me smile,and more than anything i have you,the one who is mostly silent,keeps listening to my blah blah with lots of patience and who knows how to handle my ever changing moods,while counting the stars above the sky i keep wondering if my wish of happiness have been heard now.
its been exactly 14days since you entered my life,completely changing my way of living,my way of thinking,with utmost care and gentleness you take away my independence which was/is so dear to me,you keep reminding that now i dont need to handle everything, i am reminded of time,food,health,sleep and work and rest,everything,when i look at you you give your silent approval of how i look in the new white chudidar i bought,how your eyes smile when i put that black bindi which you like:).
Walking hand in hand in the evening watching the beauty of the valley the silent promise you made,the EXPRESSIONS OF SILENCE which i understood,sitting at the edge of the hills and watching the sun going down the words unspoken made so much difference still,and when i ask you "why do you love me somuch" all i get is a smile,the one which lights up my heart:)

There are so many new people now in my life,relations i havent memorized yet,people i dont recognize yet,attitudes i dont understand yet,i get irritated at times when they poke their noses into my way of thinking,at such times you hold my hand gently reminding me that i am not alone,the look on your face says that all will be fine,those sms you send me from next room when we are surrounded by people,whenever i open my eyes middle of the night i can see you sleeping next to me placing your hand securely around me,
reminding me to get used to the fact that i am not alone,your child like laugh at my innocence,stupidity,confusion,and the way you solve those puzzles which i create in life,everything says I HAVE YOU,TOUCHWOOD,Life is Blissfull.


tere binaa jiyaa jaae naa
bin tere tere bin sajanaa
saans mein saans aae naa
tere binaa ..

jab bhii Kayaalo.n mein tu ae
mere badan se Kushbuu aae
mahake badan mein rahaa na jaae
rahaa jaae naa
tere binaa ....

reshmi raatein roz na hongii
ye saugaatein roz na ho.ngii
zi.ndagii tujh bin raas na a_e
raas aae naa
tere binaa ....

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Every corner of this house holds so many memories,some which make me laugh,few which make me cry,that corner on the terrace where i spent hours together talking to myself,gazing at the sky above,dreaming of an unknown future,counting the stars in the night,waiting for the sunrise.
MY room,How posessive did i get about it,the pictures hanging on the walls there,every desk and cupboard and reading table filled with so many gifts from friends,and that packet which still holds the game of snakes and ladders,chess,my first fountain pen,My seventh class physics notes,that small file which is hidden under all files filled with paper cuttings of AB's pictures,that teddy bear which was gifted to me when i was ten,it lost its softness,colour,looks shabby,but still,it looks so beautiful.
Those arguements with my brother,that struggle to prove to mom that i am the best, and then my two fur brats,barking at me when i used t force them to take bath,playing with me,running around andlicking my face to show they love me,those walks in the night.
Mom and her cooking,letting me sleep till late even though giving a lecture on dicipline, never letting me cook but at the same time scolding that i dont know how to cook:) 100's of greeting cards,my huge teddy sitting royally at one corner,
the smells in the garden,the freshness of damp earth when watering the plants, those roses and jasmines,waiting for mom to come home from office,sharing everything with her, So many endless memories,
and Now,in a matter of 3 days,i will be leaving it all,walking away from here,holding a hand which promises to be with me forever,which promises to take me safely to my destination,to walk along with me ,to share my pain,and to share my smiles,to be my mom and my brother when needed,to be a father whom i never had,to be a friend forever,to be a husband,who shares,who cares,and loves and who knows how to make LIFE A BEAUTIFUL JOURNEY.
Strange,i trust it all and walk on this new path,holding to myself all my memories from here,cherishing them forever,i walk in the path of life dreaming of a tomorrow,Dint i say before also...........
"I am a dreamer,I collect all the smiles from My yesterday, Neatly pack them into words and hide them in my heart,I call them "MEMORIES" for i have a tomorrow to Take them to, with the smiles and leaving behind the tears,I walk off to that Unknown Tomorrow.

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