Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Lamhe

I completed 7yrs in the present job today.7yrs of teaching and i still feel nervous when i am going to the class,or new subject or new batch,Its been a good experience,or say wonderful exp of my life till now,professionally there is nothing more than being satisfied with what you do and i feel so content,those 45 min of classes daily,so much to talk about,personal and subject,arguements,confusions and smiles,girls who enter the staffroom with problems,sharing them,trusting me,dreams in their eyes,they make me respect my job even more,there is much to do,every year they comeup with new ideas,new challenges in front of me,i keep working on them,i am satisfied,and i am happy with what i do,I teach and in the process i learn.

A collegue resigned today,she said her kids need her and she said she now wants to be content with her kids and her small family,after 14yrs she left the campus without any regrets today,i will miss her,the fun times we had,but sure,she took the right decision:)

Why do i write my blog,what does writing here means to me--An introspection {Tagged by Atul}

When i started a blog in 2004 July27th,i had no idea why i did so,on a rainy evening we 3 friends met and while having hot coffee and listening to kishore da's voice in "anewala pal jaanewala hain" i created the beautiful Akruthi.But in a few months it became a place to hide or to reveal the realself,to talk to myself.It so happens in the real world that we just put up a mask many a times,you dont feel like laughing but we do,we want to hide our pain and we do and fake false smiles,show our frustration but we cannot,so many emotions which people around us maynot appreciate,and then we need an outlet, want to hide a few faces of self from our dearones,to look at our own image--the real one, we need a mirror,i had mine,this blog,added to that the expereiences of being a teacher,the situations where i had to give a hand to someone to comeout of despair,depression were all put there,i was depressed,i was angry for sometime,i thought life is going to end,but it dint,lots of help came from the people here around,made wonderful friends who helped me out of it all,and there were nights when i couldn sleep,i wiped off my tears and sat to write about the feeling.this place saw it all,the smiles,pain,tears,love,lost and end of it all,and one fine day i just ended it,closed it and went on to live, but i couldn and then created Alapana,the one which started showing a newer side of a girl turning into a women,who is dreaming,living and smiling with others,these days i dont write much,i am not veerrrry popular,i want it this way,this blog is still a place where i will continue to write about Me,Myself and my small world filled with my dearones.But now at more leisure,less of frustrations and more of aspirations,more of dreams of a tomorrow rather than of a reality of yesterday,the expressions which are like soothing music,a life,mine here,my own way:)
All my posts are dear to me,i cannot choose a few,if a few talk about my favourite music then some talk of my exp as teacher and rest in general of my experiences in life,i love them all:)

I was tagged by passerby55 about 8 weird things about myself,well,a personal tag which i always avoided but now will finish it:)

I am moody,arrogant headstrong,whats weird about it? but at the sametime i am friendly,helpfull,funloving,caring......Now both the sets of variables are said by same set of people,Now who is weird? me or them?
I vanish!!!!! Yeah.i mean i run away from people at times,i love being with friends,enjoy crowds at times,i am the leader mostly,plan execute and take applause,but suddenly i vanish,i dont take phonecalls for days together,i dont talk to anyone unless it is needed,very reluctant to go out such times,avoid every possible creature in the world:) {Except for my dogs and Now hubby...well,can they both go in the sameline???? Huh

I ask for it and then when given i say NO.Well, confusing, Errrrr,for me also,let me rephrase it,I ask mom or hubby for an outing or for a new dress or a gift,when i am granted i reject it saying i dont want anything now:) Well,maybe i just want to know if they will give it to me or not,if they say No i keep cribbing,when they giveup and say Yes,i say NO.Now i know you are all making faces,not fair:(

I love music,i cannot live without it,but it has to be mostly hindi music,almost,99.9% hindi music,and even when i know tha there is an ocean of wonderful english music i just dont want to listen to it,i am biased??? maybe,but the lyrics the music the voice,nothing makes me feel good about it,trust me i have friends who tried with n No. of beautiful songs,but something wrong with my listening skills:)

I can cook,the fact is recently proven,i am a decent cook,hubby not only survived all self learnt {practising} cooking while taking instructions from mom,but for gods sake i cannot mke Coffee or Tea:( nooooooo,Not for anyone,i just can never make it right,i know that:)

I never tasted Coke,Pepsi,mirinda,thumbsup... or any other cold drink except for that mango drink called Frooti.I dint taste Tea or Coffee till date,i dint taste milk {yukkk} past 25hrs atleast:)

Thats it,6 weird things about me,Yayyy,i did it,i am done with this tag,but i still am remembering lot of weird things about self:) well,maybe someother time:)


Ok guys,my last post before Diwali,this Diwali is the first after my wedding,i am going to celebrate it with lots of diyas,sweets,lights,flowers,well,But no crackers,the money which i spend on them will go to Cry this time,think of it,it might be little money for us,but for a kid it might make her life,sponser a kid for her studies this Diwali,lets light a lamp in a kids life. Dont forget,childlabour is banned,but most of the cracker factories still employ kids to make them.
and yes,play safe and have a fun filled and no noise diwali:) for your sake and for others peace.Happy Diwali

13 comments:

Gaizabonts said...

Heya! Seems like a tag-ful post! :) Thanks for doing the tag.

Kishore said...

Happy First Diwali! :)
May your life be as bright as the bright Diwali lights..

Anonymous said...

Well..i agree..the best diwali you can have is by bringing some light into others' lives.
And happy diwali....this s ur first one after getting married, hmm...rob ur hubby completely...;-)

Ashish
www.coherentrambling.blogspot.com

Satish Jupalli said...

Hi Alps,

I wish you a Happy Deewali.
Same pinch.. for me also it first Dewwali after wedding. :)

Excuse for not following the guidelines this Deewali, no noice.

But I will make sure to donate same amount of money for nanhikali.
Thx for this Idea.

Regards
satish jupalli

Prakash said...

Wow.. good post. Been here after a long time. I will pickup this tag about, why i started blogging.
Happy Diwali Neels. Have great time.

ishita said...

hey:)...been a while since i got here!

Have a fabulous Diwali!:)

i have a tag pending....but suddenly all caught up wid stuff at home *sigh*....enjoyed readin thru ur tag tho:)!!!

Balaji said...

hey, nice post. congrats on your 7 years. definitely a worthwhile acheivement.

Happy Deepawali...

:)

Tulan said...

HAPPY DIWALI AALAPANA

IT IS GOING TO BE MY FIRST DIWALI WITH MY JAAN TOO

THOUGH I WAS IN INDIA LAST DIWALI AND CELEBRATED IT WITH SOME NEIGHBOURS AT MY OLD NATIVE TOWN WHERE I HAVE BEEN CELEBRATING SINCE I DONT KNOW WHEN. NEVER CELEBRATED DIWALI IN THE CITY THAT I LIVED. DOING RANGOLI AND FIRING CRACKERS IS SOMETHING I AM MISSING OUT THESE YEAR.

Tulan said...

Just going through your other entries from the beginning of the blog. All the entries are filled with so much emotions and sadness and it is making me sa reading all these entries . I had to stop at the post when u described your new beginnig. couldn't take it anymore. please be happy

Dreamcatcher said...

Happy Diwali :)

dharmabum said...

teacher - am inspired by that bit :)

hope u have a beautiful festival, full of light and joy.

if i may suggest, try doing the charity more directly. it is a lot more satisfying, and whats more, u're sure all your money is actually going to the right hands

Gangadhar said...

Alaps,
Wishing you and your family a very happy Diwali!!

--Gangadhar

Deepa said...

Wishing you and your family a very happy Diwali!! :)

 

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