Thankyou to "BLANK NOISE PROJECT"

I thought about for a week almost and today decided that i would put it up here,at my blog,i wont let it be there in the dark as most of us women are taught in this country.No,i was not taught so,thanks ma. Being a single parent she always made sure to give the best to me,i remember how frustrated i was on the first day of my early morning class where i had to walk a km to get into a bus,where as lot of girls whom i knew came with their fathers.
I still remember the night when i went to her in tears saying that "someone was teasing me in the bus" and i asked her to come with me the next day and she said "I will sure come with you tomorrow,then day after,but one day i might not,then what will you do? Its easy to be like a creeper,always needing support to stand high and tall,Do you want to be one like that? the choice is absolutely yours"
5yrs of my college life,and now in my career,i dont remember a day when i got scared of walking through dark lanes or facing guys who had fun at the cost of a girls modesty,i never got scared to handle someone when they crossed the limits.But still most of the times i just felt helpless at the first instance of facing it,and so sure it happened last week.
When i wrote the last lines of this post people thought i am just talking about the darkness in life,No, THAT NIGHT sure was terrifying.
University campus is all busy in the morning but by evening you are always greeted with silence mostly with the depts closed and buses occassionally stopping at nearly empty stages of Ladies hostel,Arts college,VC's offce and so on.....

Working till 9.30pm was not new,that too valauation of exam papers goes on till late in the night,and when i got out of the branch i was greeted with a darklane minus street lights,and the nearest auto stand was almost 10min walk,and it was drizzling,The darkness never frightens me,but i did a mistake,of putting on my earphones and was busy listening to songs on my mobile,it never occured that i was stopping myself from being alert to any sounds,
i dint care,i could see the lights far off on the main road.Kept walking humming to myself,sometimes Gutfeelings help,and with me,it always does,Dont know what made me turn back at the right instance and even before i turned completley i could feel two hands holding me and i just couldn see anything for a few seconds maybe in the shock.
struggling to breath i tried to push the person away from a tight grip, I couldn think,but i have to,if i have to survive i need to,one side of the road is all covered with large trees and if he gets successful dragging me then even i cannot help myself,And i could feel his hands trying to cover my mouth,But i was not screaming,maybe it never occured to me that i can scream,all i concentrated was in my hands and with one last effort i punched on his face,
and he just moved a few inches away from me,and i dont know if i was angry,helpless or frustrated,but next came my leg hitting him hard to the ground,i dont know how many times i kicked him,but my neck was hurting with his grip and i knew he was bleeding,and then i heard the whistle from a guard running towards me,all i remember is suddenly i was free and someone running away fast with the guard asking me if i was fine.
My ear ring was missing,my gold chain was safe,so was my mobile,and i was alive,with a few bruises on my neck,and i was not in a shock but i was desperate for a glass of water.I dint want to talk,i just got into the auto and gave him the address,for next 30 min i was helping myself to calm down.
Got inside and greeted my mom with a smile,No,i dint tell her about it,Why? because i know tomorrow she wont be able to escort me through another darklane,i have to face it again and again and i know i can.But when i got into my room,closed the door,there came the tears,of anger,frustration,helplessness.Will it ever stop? What level of awareness will help those thousands of victims that being silent wont help?
Yes,i have been a victim before also,it wont help keeping silent,fight back,and all you need is the willpower to live and live with Dignity.
I walked on the same lane the other day,and with an effort and complaints to the higherups now there are a few more guards and i saw the electric lights glowing in the night.
I was smiling,Because i know now someone else who tries the same lane to walk past the darkness wont be scared,they are safe,but i hope they are careful and I hope they Fight back if a need arises. No one will help you unless you do it yourself,Try,Its not easy,but its not impossible.