Wednesday, March 08, 2006

That Night

Silence,I like this word a lot,maybe i am mostly silent in my own world,busy or free,with people around or with myself,I am mostly silent and i enjoy doing so.I love that confusion on others faces when they see me smiling to myself,or humming to myself.maybe i am more comfortable talking to myself most of the time. I keep rephrasing words,thoughts and at times silence . All in all i love my solitude.

Busy asusual,and in the evening the University campus gets very beautiful,and specially when it starts raining,acres of land filled with trees and as the sun goes down the silence starts filling the place,standing there i keep watching nature making its way into my busy life.Working there late in the night made me realise that i feel so good because i love the surroundings,I like the place for its trees,for its silence mostly,for people who talk in hushed tones while valuating the papers, occassionally nodding at a few seniors,waving a hand to a few colleuges i go on working there till 9pm daily.

Tiny drops of water fall on my feet and i keep playing with them,try to wipe them off but they keep coming again and again,its cold and wet ground and water all around and a bird is soaking itself in the rain,sitting on the top branch,i can hear the sounds.the pitterpatter of raindrops on the wet ground,occassional sounds from the bird flapping its wet wings.sat there for a long time.sometimes silence says somuch. well,it does,when u know that u r talking to u r self....isnt it?
walking backinside i noticed the mist formed on the glasspanes and i wrote my name on it....some things never change....i know that for sure.Recollected a few words..........

just want to let go for onceJust for a minute, I want to be weakJust now, I wish I wasn't me in this life in this worldJust this time, I want so much to shatter into a tho'usand splintersJust for once, I wish there was no strength or compassion or realism or pride in meBut just tears....only tears..... And its raining now…The sky cries for me…assuring me, silently, embracing me in its steady rhythm. Somewhere, somehow, something makes sense.


Its dark and its time to go home,close the windows to the world which i live and put on mask of smiles and walk into the world filled with people,it feels good to be here,i wish i could say the same with your world dear god,I feel suffocating,maybe i am not still used to masks covered on their faces,they scare me,but i still walk towards the light,because i always learnt to fight back,I did,Yesterday night,while walking past a darklane,i wish i could talk about it to someone,but thats when i realised.........Not many who would listen to,not many who are around,not many who are not busy,and then i remembered you my dear blog,so i put it here,to remember to come back and read this entry when darkness scares me again,that night.......which scared me,to remember that i survived.

18 comments:

Jigal.. said...

hi

i m 1st...

good now let me read the post

bye

take care

s! said...

nights are beautiful..calm and serene, bringing peace to chaotic days.

sometimes it's good to be weak, especially when you have friends to fall back on :-) besides, you can always bounce back then,and be a better and stronger person after that!

Manish said...

just though of these aashars after reading ur post...

dost jab zii-waqaar hota hai
dosti ka ma'yaar hota hai

jab biChaR jaata hai ko'ii apna
Gham hi bas roozgaar hota hai

ShaaKh dar ShaaKh hotii hai zaKhmii
jab parindaa Shikaar hota hai

Arunima said...

I echo S!.

I have been coming here too lady though I don't always leave my footprints.

The templates seem to be getting better.

d4u said...

The darkness will only engulf you in peace and give you hope for the next day:)

Nagraj said...

Nice post as always.its remarkable how u pen down ur thoughts.

illusions said...

"...i wish i could talk about it to someone,but thats when i realised.........Not many who would listen to..."

I deeply touched and hurt :(( Nevertheless, just wanted to let you know, you can always to me >:D<

PuNeEt said...

another amazing post...

mix emotions... simles n cries
hopes n betrayls...

thats life isnt it...

khubusurat duniya nahin hoti hain
dekhne ka nazariya hota hain
mehfil darwaze ke us paar sajti hain
is par har koi tanha hota hain

:-)Puneet :-)

Take care

Cheers

Invincible said...

i have nothing to say !!

Usha said...

Your pictures are so beautiful and so appropriate for each post. We all need to become weak sometimes and expel all that is suppressed within in order to get stronger to face this difficult world. But when silence is not comfortable enough, please do not forget your friends who love you and will always be there for you.

Stone said...

hmm its all abt putting up right mask at right time!

Jigal.. said...

hi

I remember 1 song

Chandani Raatein.. Chandani Raatein...
Sab Jag Soye Hum Jage...
Taron Se Kare Baatein...
Chandani Raatein..

bye

take care

Gangadhar said...

Aarush's learning "rain rain go away" song!!
lolz

Atul Sabnis said...

why comments disabled for the post above?

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Anonymous said...

That's a great story. Waiting for more. »

 

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