That Night

Silence,I like this word a lot,maybe i am mostly silent in my own world,busy or free,with people around or with myself,I am mostly silent and i enjoy doing so.I love that confusion on others faces when they see me smiling to myself,or humming to myself.maybe i am more comfortable talking to myself most of the time. I keep rephrasing words,thoughts and at times silence . All in all i love my solitude.

Busy asusual,and in the evening the University campus gets very beautiful,and specially when it starts raining,acres of land filled with trees and as the sun goes down the silence starts filling the place,standing there i keep watching nature making its way into my busy life.Working there late in the night made me realise that i feel so good because i love the surroundings,I like the place for its trees,for its silence mostly,for people who talk in hushed tones while valuating the papers, occassionally nodding at a few seniors,waving a hand to a few colleuges i go on working there till 9pm daily.

Tiny drops of water fall on my feet and i keep playing with them,try to wipe them off but they keep coming again and again,its cold and wet ground and water all around and a bird is soaking itself in the rain,sitting on the top branch,i can hear the sounds.the pitterpatter of raindrops on the wet ground,occassional sounds from the bird flapping its wet wings.sat there for a long time.sometimes silence says somuch. well,it does,when u know that u r talking to u r self....isnt it?

walking backinside i noticed the mist formed on the glasspanes and i wrote my name on it....some things never change....i know that for sure.Recollected a few words..........

just want to let go for onceJust for a minute, I want to be weakJust now, I wish I wasn't me in this life in this worldJust this time, I want so much to shatter into a tho'usand splintersJust for once, I wish there was no strength or compassion or realism or pride in meBut just tears....only tears..... And its raining now…The sky cries for me…assuring me, silently, embracing me in its steady rhythm. Somewhere, somehow, something makes sense.


Its dark and its time to go home,close the windows to the world which i live and put on mask of smiles and walk into the world filled with people,it feels good to be here,i wish i could say the same with your world dear god,I feel suffocating,maybe i am not still used to masks covered on their faces,they scare me,but i still walk towards the light,because i always learnt to fight back,I did,Yesterday night,while walking past a darklane,i wish i could talk about it to someone,but thats when i realised.........Not many who would listen to,not many who are around,not many who are not busy,and then i remembered you my dear blog,so i put it here,to remember to come back and read this entry when darkness scares me again,that night.......which scared me,to remember that i survived.