Sunday, October 29, 2006

Life Is Beautiful

Was cleaing my reading table drawers, i was supposed to do this work as soon as we shifted to this flat,that is 5months back,well,it came filled with memories,i brought lot of my things from my house,left behind a few and now i make them a part of this flat,lot of things,which i placed them whereever i wanted them to be,but the drawers never got opened till now.
Found lot of things there,100's of photographs and autograph books and pens and my first palmtop,organiser and greeting cards and then i found
My walkman,my first walkman,My mom got me this when i cleared ICWA foundation when i was in Graduation first yr.
It must have costed her a few hundred,i know how difficult was at that time for my family to spend such amount on fun,or a hobby.but she did so,we never had a cable connecion untill both me and my brother finished our post graduation,the small black and white Videocon tv was limited for viewing sunday evening movie on doordarshan.
I remember the feeling when i got this gift,she just handed it to me,nofancy wraper or words,a simple smile was all i could share with her,but it meant a world to me,to her and to my brother.I used it for a few years,and then it went into the drawer,we have everything today.All the so called luxuries,but today when i go back to those days i remember them with a fond smile,
I miss those days, we were an average middle class struggling family,but we were together,those simple pleasures of life,sitting in the kitchen with mom,enjoying simple daal chawal,occassional new dresses and rare outings but still we enjoyed eachday.

Our first holiday was a surprise gift for mom,we both saved for a trip to Badri and kedarnath and then to Delhi,we watched snowfall for the first time and the day when bro bought his bike and took mom to the temple and when he got her a simple mobile and the day we had the house warming ceremony for our house which atlast was completed,and then came so many things,they all changed our lifestyle,
but did it change our way of living?
No,it dint,i am happy that we still live the same way,happy with our simple pleasures,i still see ma going to the temple,praying everyday,helping people in whatever ways she can,bro still gets to be pampered like a small kid, we still sit in the kitchen on sundays and excitedly tell her our experiences cherishing daal chawal and playing with the two fur brats.We sure are all busy now but we still find ways to be happy,thankyou mom,its because of what you taught me that i am happy today.

Got the best compliment from hubby {its rare that he uses words to express his feelings}when i heard "thankgod you know how to be simple and make it all beautiful" wow,i am honoured,i am happy and i know Life sure is what we want it to be,it might take time,it might test us,it did that to me too,there is lot more to come,but i know i can live through it all,there is always light at the end of the tunnel,i saw it when the time came,and one day you might see it aswell. Another day and another reason to smile and say that "Life is Beautiful"

Am listening to this song from Lage Raho Munnabhai and it sure is topping my list of favourites this year....... "pal pal pal pal har pal har pal,kaise katega pal har pal har pal,dil dil dil dil mein machi hain machi,machi hain hulchul hulchul hulchul...............tu jo hai saath mere toh dagar ,lage ke jaise khubsurat ghar,tu jo hai saath toh yeh ambar,lage ke jaise saaya ho sar par,tere kaandhe par rakhkar sar,yun hi katt jaaye saari umar,pal pal pal pal har pal" har pal.........

Monday, October 23, 2006

Another New Day

After completing exactly 5 months 20 odd days being married i feel Life has been fair enough.By the way dont we all remember "First Birthday,First gift,First kiss,first crush blah blah blah" well,i realised lately that my Firsts after wedding are fast disappearing and everything is falling into a routine,My first cooking senssion,my first shravanagauri vratam,my first festival after wedding,my first diwali,my first exp of being responsible for major decisions,they are fast becoming a part of memories,now its all the same everyday,cooking,festivals and being the decisionmaker and servant of the house at the same time:) But lot of firsts are still remaining,No worries,even they all vanish i will find something new all the time,i wont let this word Routine eat me alive,No way.

Sometimes i feel scared,Time is just rushing,or is it my life? even before i realise what all i did or have to finish for a day its gone,There is Another day and Another exprience and i feel rushed,i want to sit back and look at the life,my life,laidback,remembering good old days,smiling at the wonderful yesterdays and not working for a future but its not possible,Not at this stage,i just begin a new life,a new world,mine,a smallone,lot of new people whom i am trying to understand still,they are trying to accept me into their lifes too,and its been good till now,touchwood.

And i still have no second opinions about hubby being the best:) Or do i? well,at times i do threaten him that i will put an adv for a new husband material he says Go ahead:( thats when i realise i am stuck with him:) for lifetime,He is someone whom i want to share my life with,But,well,there are always If's and buts in life,isnt it?

I am a diehard romantic at heart,But i found the truth about hubby the hardway,The other day "Mausam suhana tha,thandi hawa chalrahi thi aur sageet ke saaz cheddi humne aur pati mahashai ko phone lagaya {Climate was beautiful,light was breeze making me feel good, and i just called up hubby with an idea}

Me "Darling,it feels so good today,lets have a candle light dinner tonight,what say?

Hubby: Oh whynot Ji,start lighting up the candles,i am on my way home,what did you cook by the way?
{all i wanted to do is to go out for a dinner}

The other day we were watching our wedding CD and he was very serious and grim looking at this particular scene where we both were laughing at something.

Me:Why are you looking so serious.

Hubby:I am not serious,I am Sad


Hubby:whynot? i am looking at the last day when i laughed somuch:( I lost my independence on 7th of May.2006:(

Huh,Men! ! !

Was in kitchen for an hour and in frustration i screamed "Why dont you help me here instead of watching that stupid newschannel"?
Hubby:But i did help you,dint i??
Oh yeah? in what way?

Hubby: I filled waterbottles and put them in fridge:D
@$#%$^$@ ---how would filling 2 waterbottles equals making daal chawal,bhindi and rasam? Go figure.

Life has been good,every new day brings in new smiles,new experiences and new challenges,I am bracing myself for all of it,I am enjoying it the way it is:)

Tuesday, October 17, 2006


I completed 7yrs in the present job today.7yrs of teaching and i still feel nervous when i am going to the class,or new subject or new batch,Its been a good experience,or say wonderful exp of my life till now,professionally there is nothing more than being satisfied with what you do and i feel so content,those 45 min of classes daily,so much to talk about,personal and subject,arguements,confusions and smiles,girls who enter the staffroom with problems,sharing them,trusting me,dreams in their eyes,they make me respect my job even more,there is much to do,every year they comeup with new ideas,new challenges in front of me,i keep working on them,i am satisfied,and i am happy with what i do,I teach and in the process i learn.

A collegue resigned today,she said her kids need her and she said she now wants to be content with her kids and her small family,after 14yrs she left the campus without any regrets today,i will miss her,the fun times we had,but sure,she took the right decision:)

Why do i write my blog,what does writing here means to me--An introspection {Tagged by Atul}

When i started a blog in 2004 July27th,i had no idea why i did so,on a rainy evening we 3 friends met and while having hot coffee and listening to kishore da's voice in "anewala pal jaanewala hain" i created the beautiful Akruthi.But in a few months it became a place to hide or to reveal the realself,to talk to myself.It so happens in the real world that we just put up a mask many a times,you dont feel like laughing but we do,we want to hide our pain and we do and fake false smiles,show our frustration but we cannot,so many emotions which people around us maynot appreciate,and then we need an outlet, want to hide a few faces of self from our dearones,to look at our own image--the real one, we need a mirror,i had mine,this blog,added to that the expereiences of being a teacher,the situations where i had to give a hand to someone to comeout of despair,depression were all put there,i was depressed,i was angry for sometime,i thought life is going to end,but it dint,lots of help came from the people here around,made wonderful friends who helped me out of it all,and there were nights when i couldn sleep,i wiped off my tears and sat to write about the feeling.this place saw it all,the smiles,pain,tears,love,lost and end of it all,and one fine day i just ended it,closed it and went on to live, but i couldn and then created Alapana,the one which started showing a newer side of a girl turning into a women,who is dreaming,living and smiling with others,these days i dont write much,i am not veerrrry popular,i want it this way,this blog is still a place where i will continue to write about Me,Myself and my small world filled with my dearones.But now at more leisure,less of frustrations and more of aspirations,more of dreams of a tomorrow rather than of a reality of yesterday,the expressions which are like soothing music,a life,mine here,my own way:)
All my posts are dear to me,i cannot choose a few,if a few talk about my favourite music then some talk of my exp as teacher and rest in general of my experiences in life,i love them all:)

I was tagged by passerby55 about 8 weird things about myself,well,a personal tag which i always avoided but now will finish it:)

I am moody,arrogant headstrong,whats weird about it? but at the sametime i am friendly,helpfull,funloving,caring......Now both the sets of variables are said by same set of people,Now who is weird? me or them?
I vanish!!!!! Yeah.i mean i run away from people at times,i love being with friends,enjoy crowds at times,i am the leader mostly,plan execute and take applause,but suddenly i vanish,i dont take phonecalls for days together,i dont talk to anyone unless it is needed,very reluctant to go out such times,avoid every possible creature in the world:) {Except for my dogs and Now hubby...well,can they both go in the sameline???? Huh

I ask for it and then when given i say NO.Well, confusing, Errrrr,for me also,let me rephrase it,I ask mom or hubby for an outing or for a new dress or a gift,when i am granted i reject it saying i dont want anything now:) Well,maybe i just want to know if they will give it to me or not,if they say No i keep cribbing,when they giveup and say Yes,i say NO.Now i know you are all making faces,not fair:(

I love music,i cannot live without it,but it has to be mostly hindi music,almost,99.9% hindi music,and even when i know tha there is an ocean of wonderful english music i just dont want to listen to it,i am biased??? maybe,but the lyrics the music the voice,nothing makes me feel good about it,trust me i have friends who tried with n No. of beautiful songs,but something wrong with my listening skills:)

I can cook,the fact is recently proven,i am a decent cook,hubby not only survived all self learnt {practising} cooking while taking instructions from mom,but for gods sake i cannot mke Coffee or Tea:( nooooooo,Not for anyone,i just can never make it right,i know that:)

I never tasted Coke,Pepsi,mirinda,thumbsup... or any other cold drink except for that mango drink called Frooti.I dint taste Tea or Coffee till date,i dint taste milk {yukkk} past 25hrs atleast:)

Thats it,6 weird things about me,Yayyy,i did it,i am done with this tag,but i still am remembering lot of weird things about self:) well,maybe someother time:)

Ok guys,my last post before Diwali,this Diwali is the first after my wedding,i am going to celebrate it with lots of diyas,sweets,lights,flowers,well,But no crackers,the money which i spend on them will go to Cry this time,think of it,it might be little money for us,but for a kid it might make her life,sponser a kid for her studies this Diwali,lets light a lamp in a kids life. Dont forget,childlabour is banned,but most of the cracker factories still employ kids to make them.
and yes,play safe and have a fun filled and no noise diwali:) for your sake and for others peace.Happy Diwali

Thursday, October 12, 2006


Another sleepless night,just like that,i stand by the window and look at the darkness outside,i remember these lines,i repeat them here again,i did it before,i might do it again on some night when the darkness tries to swallow me,when the silence gets so loud that i feel scared of it.I wish i knew whats in store Tomorrow,but i know i cant,Thats the only mystery which we never can expolre,thats what makes life the way it is,Hope of a better tomorrow makes this night shorter,i can see the night fading away,there will be a ray of hope with the new day,with the first sunray,I will wait for it.......

"I Keep staring into the silence of the night,I keep listening to the sounds of the silence,I try to play with words but end up in silence,I try to hold a moment in my hands,but it just slips away...The sands of time goes far far away from me,I have no choice but to walk along,Smiling at the waves of emotions shattering to 100 peices on the rocks,I smile because the waves keep coming back,Just like HOPE,and i go on..Flow with the wind,Sing with the birds around,Across the boarders,forgetting the boundaries,Catch me if you can,Before you try i slip off to the far off land. I have to catch that first drop of rain,I haveto touch the first Ray of sun,I have to feel the smell of the freshly drenched Earth,i need to feel the softness of the first petal of the rose,I have to move on,I keep walking off to the far far away grounds.

Radiocity FM is playing this song now at this hour....

"Tumse milke,aisa lagaa tumse milke, armaan hue mere dil ke,aye mere jaanewafa,tere mere,mere teri ik jaan hain,saath tere rahenge sada,tumse na honge judaa,tumse milke....."

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Sangeet ki Duniya se

This is my first tag on Alapana,I remember not doing them at my other blog,somehow i dint like doing them,but we all change,so did i.New blog,new ideas,but then somethings remain same,so does my taste and craze for music,this meme is for ardent musiclovers,those who love hindi film music of the past gone years,those melodies which still haunt us all with their beauty of lyrics,music,voice.Everything seems perfect with them.I can forever listen to those songs,again and again,and everytime i do so i find a new dimension in the music,in the meaning,in the voice.

Now i am ready to tag people to do this,and i want them to complete it,a few of them whom i know share the love for the music,the kind which i listen to.

First him because i remember him tagging me long back and i never did it.Sorry for that,but i am sure you will comeup with your favourite list of songs,I really hope so.

Ab main inkeliye kya kahoon,he is always one step ahead of me in knowing about songs,music directors,lyricists or the lyrics themselves,Stoneji,i want you to finish this tag,would love to know your favourite songs.

Mere dost jinki hindi itni shudh hain ki mujhe unse baath karthe samay dhyan rakna padtha hain ki main acchi tarah se baat karoon.Someone who writes a blog mostly about music and literature,we both always comeup with same songs for similar occassions.
Manishji, jaldi se apna post likhdeejiye.

Now i am always scared of his blog,or the writer in him,i am always a silent reader,read all his posts,smile or think but never can comment there,Such excellent writer but then he is one of my close friends also,so Anand,you better finish this tag and i know you have an excellent choice of hindi songs,specially the ones you keep humming daily,Now do i see you smiling:)

My dear friend who is a sweetheart,Who has such talents like singing, dancing, writing, and such a sensitive person who is always with me whenever i need her,someone whom i call my sister,Nimmi,its your turn to finish this tag:)

Wish one day i can match his sense of hindi music,but i dont know if i can ever do so,he is mostly online and everyday i log into to my messenger just to know which song he chose to put up as his status message,Kyon hirduji,kya khayal hain:)

Now for the meme

Your favourite lyricist and the lyrics you remember the most..

Ofcourse Gulzar,everyone knows it by now:) Its difficult to select one but the lines from the movie Raincoat are one of his best works and i remember them always.

" kisi mausam ka jhaunka tha,jo is deewar par latki hui tasveer tirchhi kar gaya hai,gaye sawaan mein ye deewarein yoon seeli nahin thi,na jaane is dafa kyun inmein seelan aa gayi hai,darare pad gaye hai aur seelan is tarha baithti hai,jaise khushk rukhsaroon pe geele aansu chalte hain"

Your favourite song on friendship

"Yaroon dosti badi hi haseen hain,ye na hoto kya phir bolo ye zindagi hain"

Best song portraying life's emotions {zindagi se bhara hua,zindagi ke baare mein}

"Ae zindagi yeh lamha jee lene de
Oh, pehle se likha kuch bhi nahin
Roz naya kuch likhti hai tu
Jo bhi likha hai, dil se jiya hai
Yeh lamha filhaal jee lene de"

Which song are you humming today.

"ye zindagi gale lagaale,humne bhi tere har ik ghum ko gale se lagaya hain,hain na"

one song which brings tears to your eyes

"Jeena Yahan Marna Yahan, Iske Siva Jaana Kahan
Ji Chahe Jab Humko Awaaz Do,Hum Hain Wahin Hum Thhe Jahan,
Kal Khel Mein Hum Ho Na Ho,Gardish Mein Taare Rahenge Sada
Bhoolenge Hum Bhoologe Tum,Par Hum Tumhare Rahenge Sada
Rahenge Yahin Apne Nishan"

A song which gives you hope,reason to try again and again,a reason to say that life is beautiful:)

This song from Iqbal has beautiful lyrics.

"pootche hain zindagi,hamse jeene ki adaa,bole yeh raaste yaaro jaana hain kaha,ham toh hawaao pe likhte hain dastaan,ham mein hain woh hunar,chaa jaaye jaaye jaha

When you want to be with yourself,silent and content but with music,with song would that be?

"Hum, rahen ya na rahen kal ,Kal yaad aayenge ke ye pal
Pal, ye hain pyar ke pal ,Chal, aa mere sang chal
Chal, soche kya ,Chhoti si, hai zindagi ,Kal, mil jaaye to hogi khush-naseebi"

If you have to express your love for someone with a song which would that be?

betaab dil ki tamannaa yahi hai
tumhein chaahenge tumhe.n poojenge
tumhe.n apnaa Khudaa banaayenge,
hanste hanste ro de.n ham, itnaa bhi to hansaao naa
dil me.n tumhin base ho, raha aanchal vo bhar chukaa hai
kahaan itanii Kushii chhupaaenge.

5songs which you listen to the most

"Khamosh sa afsaan,pani mein likha hota,na tumne suna hota,na humne kahaan hota" From Libaas

"aane wala pal,jaane wala hain,ho sake tho isme zindagi bitado,pal jo ye jaanewala hain" from Golmaal

"Ka karoon sajani,aaye na balam,Khoj rahi hain piya pardesi akhiyaan,aaye na balam" from Swami

"Ye nain dare dare,ye jaam bhare bhare,jaraa peene do,kal ki kisko khabar,ik raat hoke nidar, mujhe jeene do" from Kohra.

"Huzoor iskadar bhi na itraake chaliye,Khuleaam na aanchal na leharaake chaliye" from Masoom.

Designed By Blogs Gone Wild!