Ek roj Zindagi...

"But sir,you always scold only me,Because i am short,and because i sit in front bench you always point out at me,you don't say anything to the other girls"

11am to 11.40am the staff room becomes a fish market,utterchaos, confusion and the Students
surround the teachers for everything and anything during the break time and the attender does a rope walk serving Coffee and the quota of two biscuits per teacher,
Thankfully i don't need to wait for him,i have no regards for the coffee or the Britannia Marie biscuits,so i seriously concentrate on TOI which is scattered by pages on each table,i was on the collection spree,collecting page 14 from the colleague who rarely smiles and asking for the Bangalore times from the one who annoyingly plays high music on his mobile phone,Yeah,he carries his phone in the shirt pocket with the loud speaker on and Tamil music playing,
and in midst of all this i heard a those words,coming back to my seat i tried looking at the direction where it came from.She is short,cute with her spectacles,controlling her frustration and trying hard to talk to the teacher with out letting her tears roll out of her eyes, One of her friend was trying to pacify and take her away but she was adament,she insists that he always scolds her and that today she was not making any noise but he still scolded her. "Because i am short you always notice me and make fun of me" she repeated.

I dont know what went on for the next 5 min but i just kept staring at her,i am not looking at her,her height or her tears, i am looking at the resolve of a girl who walks into the staff room to say that she is right and that she trusts herself while saying so.

I so wanted to talk to her,but i know it is wrong to involve when i am no where concerned,i just wished the teacher would clarify that the height was not an issue at all and that it dosnt matter,but No,he was busy clarifying other things.Do i involve or not? i knew i couldn and my dear collegue and friend who sits next to me and we both share a good friendship stopped me saying it wont be good if i spoke then.

She was going off,along with her friend,i just stood up and walked out of the room,she was there,in front of me,walking fast and furious still,i dont know her name,nothing,not even the class she is from,I need to tell her something,she was waiting near the lift,i just smiled and she looked at me,smiled back after a few seconds.
Hesitantly a few words came out from me "Girl,never let others takeover your confidence,Does it matter that you are short or someone else is fat or lean? if they think so let them be,Be proud of who you are and you know what,you have a wonderful confidence which will help you turn your dreams to reality,By the way you are the one who won the first prize in Debate,Isn't it" Bright eyes,filled with laughter,smiling,enjoying all the credit which is due she replied "Yes ma'am,and ma'am i know you"
"Do you?" Yes ma'am,you won the Anthyakshari competition conducted for the faculty,i remember the last song which you sang,its my dad's favorite song,You teach Consumer Behaviour,My cousin is in your class........"

After spending ten min talking,laughing,smiling it was time for good bye,she was going up to the canteen,"we are celebrating,she says with pride,i won so i am giving a treat,ma'am,join us"
No dear,you have fun, i have a class now.

Yes,i have a class now,but before that i have a word to talk to,to myself,to remind myself how it always affected me as a kid that i was fat,that i was tall and that i was always made to sit in the last bench,how i was laughed at,and how i had those tears welling up in my heart,but i did fight back, with my insecurities,stood up when i was right,fought back when i was humiliated,and i won,won over my insecurities ,it hurts to remember but i don't want to forget,i have more battles and it gives me strength to remember.

and while i was walking back to the staff room,i am greeted by my students,most of them with a smile,a few stopping to share a news,one stopping me to say that she had a fight with her best friend,a group rushing to me saying that they won the cricket match and one boy waiting for me to clear his doubts in Leverage Analysis and i have a class waiting for me to deal with Ethics in Subliminal Advertising and i recollect that song which i sang at the anthakshari....

"Tere girne mein bhi theri haar nahi,ki thu admi hain hain avtaar nahi.....zindagi hasne gaane keliye hain pal,do pal,isse khona nahi,khoke rona nahi......." Isn't it true "Life is to share the laughter and music,don't loose it all and cry for what you have lost.........Don't worry about failures,you are afterall human,Not god..."

Pic courtesy :Deviant Art.