Tuesday, February 14, 2006

sunate hain ki mil jaatii hai har chiiz duaa se
ek roz tumhe.n maa.Ng ke dekhenge Khudaa se

duniyaa bhii milii hai Gam-e-duniyaa bhii milaa hai
vo kyuu.N nahii.n milataa jise maa.Ngaa thaa Khudaa se

aaiine me.n vo apanii adaa dekh rahe hain
mar jaaye ki jii jaaye koii unakii balaa se

It feels as if if it were yesterday when someone asked "Will you be my Valentine?"
Was it the beautiful night of 14th feb or was it the beautiful sunshine of the same day when i dreamed of a tomorrow with you?
But i have a question,How does it feel to act complete strangers with a person who till yesterday was so important for you? How does it feel to walk off from someone whom you promise whole sky where as all she wanted was a piece of land to stand on and dream?
"Itni badi sheher mein aise tho nahi ki koi mera intezar mein khada ho,aise tho nahi ki koi mere aane ki raah dekhraha ho? {its not like someone is waiting for me in the city filled with lakhs of people,not that someone hopes to meet me"

How would i know that you will be right here,in front of me,In midst of all the noise and in midst of those thousands of people in the railway station when i was walking all alone and how come i just came in face to face with you,Why dint you walk off then? And my legs were refusing to move either,did i hear any sounds then?
No,i guess the place was filled with silence,or was it my heart which got so silent? Did you ask me something? Oh ya "how am i doing" did i answer that? i guess so,Because i did remember some words,how strong was i to keep smiling intact,talking to you without walking off? How was it for you?i know you were not fine being there at that moment,facing me,Strange that i could still feel your reaction,your jaw tightening as when you are in tension,restless but no one can find it.
"Congratulations,when is the engagement?" and i realised my voice was even and not shivering and there was not much to feel, {Is this what is called moving on?}
5min of silence prompted me to say goodbye,There is nothing more to say or hear,isnt it?
Couldn refuse the hand extended in farewell, the warmth and the hold said "Takecare" and mine reciprocated with care and wishes for a wonderful new begining,Maybe not me but with someone whom you will be with.....Forever.
I walked into the railway station and you to the opposite direction,We were always opposite,in everything we did,isnt it.
Each step took forward at that moment was taking me awayfrom you and maybe Towards an unknown destination,Where future begins and Past ends.....Forever,But yes,sometimes whatever we do,certain incidents,certain days and certain people will always be etched in our memories,Isnt it?

ab Khushii hai na ko_ii Gam rulaane vaalaa
hamane apanaa liyaa har rang zamaane vaalaa

us ko ruKhsat to kiyaa thaa mujhe maaluum na thaa
saaraa ghar le gayaa, ghar chhod ke jaane vaalaa

You will be there,forever,A memory which is beautiful like the first ray of the sunshine on the waves of water flowing,trying to touch my feet,going back and leaving me alone,But i keep standing at the shore,waiting for the waves to strike again,Hoping........ Lifes waves hit me again,in the form of smiles and in the form of tears,and i accept it all.
Was it yesterday when someone whispered "Will you be my valentine?"

ai muhabbat tere anjaam pe ronaa aayaa
jaane kyon aaj tere naam pe ronaa aayaa

yuu.N to har shaam ummiidon mein guzar jaatii thii
aaj kuchh baat hai jo shaam pe ronaa aayaa

kabhii taqadiir kaa maatam kabhii duniyaaa kaa gilaa
manzil-e-ishq mein har gaam pe ronaa aayaa

jab huaa zikr zamaane me.n mohabbat kaa 'Shakeel'
mujh ko apane dil-e-naakaam pe ronaa aayaa


Ardra said...

beete huwe dard ke lamhe ko jab ek ajnabi ki tarah mehsoos kar sakegi- jaise kisi aur ke saath beeti huwi baat- tab man ko sukoon mil jaayegi...
just remember you were meant for better things-
keep ahead...

s said...

:) happy valentines day ...
i lost u on chat .. guess ur pc got disconnected

Stone said...

Waqt rukta nahiii..kisi ke liye...iiski aadat bhi aadmi si hai..."

take care!!

btw, u removed me from ur blogroll B-(

PuNeEt said...

Ae dil humein vo phir se yaad aaye hue hain
aaj phir hum unn gamon ka bojh utthaaye hue hain

Mere paas na aane ki kucch wajah rahi hogi
kahin toot na jaaye bhram, ghabraaye hue hain

Kaii baar sheesha toota hai patthar ke haathon se
na pehli baar hai jo chot khaaye hue hain

Kisi aur ne dar pe tere dastaq dee hogi
hum to tujhe sadiyon se bhulaaye hue hain

Mere ghar ke saamne vo aaye hain ae naseeb
kisi aur se milne, dil ko samjhaaye hue hain.

- Anonymous

deepakjeswal said...

Hi, Thanks for leaving the message on my blog. I came here the same day but unfortunately the connexion was playing truant, and for two-three days cudnt open any blogspot comments.

I read all ur posts. Honestly, I am a bit confused - kaun hai aap? Have i read ur older blog before? If its not too much burden , and if i hv this much integrity visible, wud like u to email me.

Ramkumar said...

Dear Alapana,

Ur blog on valentines day reminds me of the day when my gf told me that she is getting married to the person whom she introduced to me as her 'big brother'.

I was very upset and curious when she started indicating this to me but like u said, once i heard the news, my mind was stable and told her 'Ditching is very painful. Dont throw him if u come across a better person!!'

ur blog on the valentines day reflects the real sentiments.


anumita said...

So glad to see you here! Remember I always told you, you have a distinct style? I just had to glance at this page and smiled as I recognized the person behind!
A big hug for you.

desperado said...

har taraf har jagah beshumaar aadmi
phir bhi tanhayion ka shikar aadmi...

take care

P.S.as always the best of lines u have quoted

Casablanca said...

Ouch. That post left a lump in my throat.
Take care...

The Guy Next Door said...

Love - The more we want it, the more it escapes us. It will come back in our lives when we least expect it , or so we hope - And carry in living

The Guy Next Door said...

Carry "On" living , I meant.

nishita said...

I just remebered few lines of Badr...my fav too... reading your post..
"Khuda ki itni badi kayanaat me bas ek hi shaks maanga tha hamen vo hi na mila."
Take Care

wise donkey said...

broke my heart, but glad to read that you have moved forward.

moving on is a gradual process, sadly we cant seem sometimes to move forward as much as quickly as we want to, but it happens nevertheless.

hope you have a wonderful day

Smile , you have been brave and there many treasures waiting for you.

take care:)

Manish said...

hmmmm ... don't know what to say!
ab Khushii hai na ko_ii Gam rulaane vaalaa
hamane apanaa liyaa har rang zamaane vaalaa

us ko ruKhsat to kiyaa thaa mujhe maaluum na thaa
saaraa ghar le gayaa, ghar chhod ke jaane vaalaa

so true!

Atul Sabnis said...

woh afsana jise anjaam...

chandu said...

as always i say- all things happens for reason, may b the best is ahead!may b those souls which fly away may not deserve it!take care buddy..neeelch i need a msg box to drop msgs.. if not i wont change my template :P as u demanded

Art said...

God sent good people to u but then he wanted u to get the best...

Prasad said...

life moves on.. and u too moved on..

Jigal.. said...




take care

Ek Anjaan Ladki said...


Usha said...

Feelings very beautifully captured, as usual.
"How does it feel to walk off from someone whom you promise whole sky where as all she wanted was a piece of land to stand on and dream?"
I know how that feels.
It is just as well as the one to whom the offer was made had no appreciation nof the immensity of the loss.
Keep smiling my dear young friend.

Seagull said...

Hi Neelima :)

I don't know if this is for real or its an imaginary thing (I am dreamer of sorts you see :D !)

Hmm...actually don't have anything more to say. Maybe somewhere in my blog you would have found a wistfulness. So maybe I can understand "How does it feel to walk off from someone whom you promise whole sky where as all she wanted was a piece of land to stand on and dream".

Who is Usha Ji BTW ?

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