Wishes Of More Smiles,Joy,Happiness.

I wish you all a Merry Christmas and A Happy and wonderful new year ahead,have fun,party hard and laugh aloud,share a smile and wipe a tear,let the pain vanish and smiles bloom around,Its after all

Another New Day,Filled With Dew Drop Dreams.

Life is full of surprises,as always,walking away from the place where you were born and brought up,the city of fond memories,the job which is more than work ,the place where you made friends and the place which made you what you are today,the dreams and the happiness,the pain and tears,all were born here and one fine morning you pack your bags and leave in search of a new destination,a new dream and a new world,and it all starts again,the life which is left behind turns into fond memories,and the world which you enter forms the core of your dreams,the one which you struggle to make it all into a reality.Life goes on and every day brings in a new experience.

I remember this song today which is one of my childhood favourties,from the film Baaton Baaton mein, i always used to sing it along with my father
"utte sabke khadam,dekho rum pum pum,aji aise geet gaya karo, kabhi kushi kabhi ghum,taara ram pum pum,haso.n aur hasaaya karo,woh pyare din aur woh pyari raatein,yaad humein hain woh mulaqaatein,nahi koi ghum,nahi koi gila,zindagi ke raah mein mile hain humtum,......"

This place is like a mirror of my emotions,where i talk to self,and now i am going away in search of a new path,new destination,will be back the day i feel i can spare time for myself,for glancing at life from this angle,till then take care and have fun all of you.

Chote chote sapne..zindagi ke.

I have been humming this song past two days and it goes with my mood too."Tum Bhi chalo hum bhi chale ,chalti rahe zindagi,Na Zameen manzil na aasman ,zindagi hai zindagi,Peechhen dekhe na kabhi mudke raahon mein,Jhoome mera dil tumhe leke baahon mein,Dhadkon ki jubaan nith kahe daastan,Pyar ki jhilmil chhaon mein, Palti rahe zindagi"

Winter is here and atlast i could feel the chill in the air,i love this season,something about it makes me feel content and happy.The first sun rays,the morning dew,lazy days and cozy nights and freshness in the air,the festivities of Christmas and new year all around and fresh flowers and lots of greenery all around.I love this season. Went home a few days back and my house was all filled with flowers and greenery and its so cold when compared to our apt.Miss being there and being with mom.But then chaltha hain na:)

Dear Hubby,
I felt strange today,I still have no idea how come you are not excited about it,How can you sleep like a log and not taking any calls at middle of the night,How can you not wear new dress or how can you not feel special,How can you go about your routine and be content with home cooked food and prefer staying home with a few movies and music and sweets.
How come you don't jump around or worry about the day coming to an end,How come you are not sad that you have to wait for one more year to feel it all again,and the only shocked reaction pleasantly was when you saw mom and bro calling you at middle of the night just to say that they are waiting at the gate to wish,they traveled all the way to give a surprise to you and you were not ready to believe it that they came all the way to be with you for 10 min,and i know its kind of new to you to see so much of affection but then you better get used to it all and by the way did you get my two messages which i sent yesterday night when you were snoring away to glory?
You never showed any reaction! ! ! ! but then i got adjusted to your way of living already,so Here it is for you my dearest husband........Happy Birthday To You. No problem if you want to celebrate it your way or not to celebrate it at all,but i will keep celebrating it for you and by the way I don't want my birthday to be this way,you already have a taste of it and please do keep giving me bigger surprises and biiiiiiiiiiiiiig and huuuuuuuuuuuuge gifts every year.God bless you and have a wonderful life {with me},Keep behaving,keep listening to me,please keep waking up at 6am to open the door to the maid,and make your own coffee and keep filling those water bottles and keep saying that whatever i cook is good {i would prefer you say wonderful} and more than anything please do let me use the laptop all the time and follow the instructions when i give them:D
Your loving commanding,demanding,dictator wife.

Dear hubby called me while i was out
Him: I am hungry and cooking rice,how many whistles do i wait for?

Me: R u sure you can handle it? clean the rice and pour a glass of water and use the gas cut and then wait for two whistles,and the whistle is in that small box on the right side of the platform.

Him:Oh,i can handle it,you don't worry.

After half and hour i called him up to see whats up.
Me: had your food?
Him: No,i am still waiting for the whistle.
Me: whattttttttt? it hardly takes 10 min for that small cooker,what did you do?
Him: Nothing.

Me: What do you mean nothing {then it occurred to me} did you light the gas stove??
Him: Oh { i heard him muttering to self but he quickly recovered and says } But you never told me to on the gas.

Huh,Men!!!!!!!!!!!!

Musical magic or magical Music;p

If you are reading this then go trhough this post here by Eroteme

Buy this book (and you can find this in your local bookstore), read it. If you do not feel his passion and do not feel like working with John and his team at Room to Read, let me know. If I find your stance valid (I will only be listening to you and not debating with you), send me your bank wiring details, and I will refund the cost you incurred on this book (and I want you to send me the bill and other details). I mean it.

Staying at home for four days with severe cold and cough isn't easy,specially when you stay alone whole day:( the only companion is again music,today i was listening to very old songs,i skipped gulzar,javedji and Kishorekumar, and i went ahead with Rafi,Mukesh,Hasrat Jaipuri,Salilchoudhary,MadanMoham,Chitragupt,Naushad and others whom most of this generation have forgotten or busy only with the remixes,Sad and i am against all the remix versions of these old beautiful melodies which need no makeovers and silly videos showing some dancergirls with least clothing and stupid facial expressions.
How can you emulate the everygreen "Suhana safar aur yeh mausam haseen ,Humein darr hai hum kho na jaaye kahin,Suhana safar,Yeh kaun hansta hai phoolon mein chhupkar ,Bahar bechain hai jiski dhun par" or" ghadee ghadee moraa dil dhadake, haay dhadake, kyon dhadake,aaj milan kee belaa mein, sar se chunariyaan kyon sarake",from the movie Madhumati.

Who can forget Baiju Bawara or Naushad saheb,he was the on who introduced Lataji and Rafi to hindi film industry,is "Mohe Panghat pe Nandlal chhed gayo re,mori najuk kalaiyaa marod gayo re,mohe Panghat Pe....." from Mughal E Azam or "Madhuban men radhika nache re ,Giradhar ki muraliya baje re" from Kohinoor or rememeber DilipKumar from GangaJumna and the song "Dhoondo dhoondo re saajna,.dhoondo re saajna,more kaan ka baala" can someone in todays music industry bring back such melodies?

Sahir or the magician of words,he is a dream maker,i listen to "zindagi bhar nahi bhooloongi woh barsaath ki raat,ek anjaan.." from Barsaat ki raat and vivid images form a picture infront of me,and then comes mannadey's voice in " Ai merii zoharaa jabeen,tujhe maaloom nahiin"
or Ashaji's eternal voice in "Aage bhi jaane na tu, peechhe bhi jaane na tu,jo bhi ha,Andekhi baaho ne ham sabko ghera haiYe pal ujaala hai baaqi andhera hai,Ye pal gawaana na ye pal hi tera hai" from waqt makes me wonder about the truth which is right in front of us,songs do depict shades of life's exp at times,specially the one's from the golden era.Cannot move on to anyother lyricist without a mention of the wonderful "Pyaasa"Gurudutt,Wahida and HemantKumar,and a magical "Jaane woh kaise log the jinke pyar ko pyar mila,humne tho kaliyaan maangi,kaaton ka haar mila" by the end of the song i have tears in my eyes,such pain in the voice,and the movie itself is a masterpiece.

"Aankhon hi aankhon mein ishara hogaya,bhaite bhaite jeene ka sahara hogaya" Remember? CID,nayadaur,Tumsa Nahi dekha or AarPaar and we remember O.P.Nayyar. i still hum "Babuji dheere chalna,pyar mein zara sambhalna,haan,bade dhoke hain is raah mein" i miss Geetadutt's voice for that natorious or chulbulapan. or "Ude jab jab zulfen teri,kawaariyon ka dil machle jind meriye" and till today NayaDaur is one of my very few favourite meovies from black and white era,Pran and Dilipkumar again. and i absolutely love the song "Leke pehla pehla pyaar,bharke aankhon mein khumaar jaadu nagari se aaya koi jaadugar" remember shamshad begum? its her voice.

Those who used to listen to chayageet on Radio at 10pm or Rangoli on sundays on National TV or specially who remember Binaca geetmala on Cylone radio,the ever green Ameen sayani's voice will sure remember the songs played and one such song which i remember till day is "Chal Ud Ja Re Panchhi Ke Ab Yeh Desh Hua Begaana,Bhool Ja Ab Voh Mast Hava Voh Udna Daaali Daali" and the one "Jaayen tho jayen kahaan" from Taxidriver.

And the one which still has a great impact on me is "man re tu kaahe na dheer dhareo nirmohi moh na jaane jinka moh kare" from the movie chitralekha.
Rafi's voice excels in "abhi naa jaao chhodakar, ke dil abhee bharaa nahee,abhee abhee to aayee ho, bahaar ban ke chhaayee ho,hawaa jaraa mahak to le, najar jaraa bahak to le,ye shaam dhal to le jaraa, ye dil sanbhal to le jaraa,mai thodee der jee to loo, nashe ke ghoont pee to loo,abhee to kuchh kahaa nahee, abhee to kuchh sunaa naheen .."
and devanand's smile in the song "Maein Zindagi Ka Saath Nibhata Chala Gaya,Har Fikar Ko Dhuen Mein Udata Chala Gaya,Barbadiyon Ka Shok Manana Fizul Tha,Barbadiyon Ka Jashan Manata Chala Gaya,Har Fikar Ko Dhuen Mein Uda…"

Surely songs at one time depicted life,its experiences,hope,reality,Aastha,Patriotism and laughter,tears and pain,joy and happiness.I am in still love with such music,and i am in love with Life:)

Thankyou Wilson

My brother stopped at a traffic signal,after hurriedly talking for a min in the phone he tried to drop the phone back into his jacket,well,it landed up on the road,and he rushed off on his bike.He had a meeting and he realized only after 6hrs that he lost his favorite samsung mobile on which he spend more than 20,000Rs.
He tried calling at his own number but it says "phone currently switched off"{ and we lost al the hope of finding it,why will anyone switch it on,they must have already removed the sim and using the phone {we all love to generalize or believe that everyone is a fraud out there}
and one last attempt and voila,......the phone is ringing and Wilson picks up the call,he was crossing the road and saw my brother dropping the phone,he tried yelling but the sound got lost in the car honking and bus horns,he was about to take it to the nearest police station after his work but thought of switching it on which accidentally got switched off when it fell on the road .
He gives the complete address but we couldn go to his house on the same day,Next day mom suggested a gift,and bro went there,Wilson refused to take the gift,but then bro insisted to open the gift wrapper and then accept or reject it,and he accepted the little holycross made of glass and took bro to his elder brother's restaurant,they both had good food and nice chat and decided to keep in touch and mom invited him for lunch coming Sunday.Welcome to our family wilson, now you are a friend:) and Thank you.

She is back:) the one who introduced me to the world of blogging and the one who got married exactly one year before me and then quit blogging and my last post made her rethink and now she is back here at Saffron skies.My best friend is back to blogging:)

"eek din fursat mein thaamein haath hamare
le gayi uss dagar pe jahaan rehti hai bahaaren
chal diye ham bhi ghar se ke kuchh befikar se,dil tha apne bharose ham the dil ke sahaare
raah mein mod aaya roshani ho gayi kam

bewajah lag rahi thi jab talaash hamari ,ek khushboo uthi aur rutt badal gayi saari
saamne toh khade the faila ke baahen "
From the movie Zindagi rocks.

All my life i lived in an independent house filled with plants trees and creepers and flowers,the house is surrounded with greenery and the flowers always greeted in one or the other corner.but now,here in our flat i just don't see a hint of greenery,except for the lone Tulasi plant in the tinyweeny balcony,and i said enough is enough.One fine evening Called up hubby to come home fast and early if he wants to have a sane life and he rushed home and we hurried to Tulasi nursery at NMDC and Hurrrrrrrrraaaaaaaayyyyyy,i have all in all 5 pots of indoor plants which i can keep in the hall and i am so glad i did so,and now i am going to buy a few more,i will takecare of them,i will,i will ,i will:)

Me:Shadi se pehle you always sounded so sweet and were always willing to say Yes to whatever i said or asked for,but now it is always a NO,huh,you dont love me anymore:(
Sri:Shadi se pehle i was expecting a wife and i used to accept it as a gods gift and said "Yes" and now i realized i got a dictator and Teacher rather than a wife,so i keep saying "No" always;p
Huh,men!!!!!

mujhe mat roko,mujhe yaar ke ghar jaane do,main hoon parwana
mujhe shamma pe mit jaane do,,usko pana hi meri zindagi ka maksat hain
agar woh milta hai mujhe marke toh mar jaane domujhe mat roko
dil ki aankhon ne meri apana sanam dekh liya,ab isi dar pe mere dam ko nikal jaane do
mujhe mat roko,mujhe yaar ke ghar jaane do

From the movie Gangster.

Have a wonderful week ahead guys,Zindagi rocks for sure:)

Another milestone;p

6 months of togetherness.
May7th-Nov7th.
Thankyou for everything dear god.
Life has been good.


My exp post wedding.

"So here i am ,learn t so many things which i never did when at home,when i was just a daughter,i always demanded there and got it all easily,here:) i leanrt to live and live it in my own way,work my way through a path which i carve myself.
Learnt cooking,cleaning,waking up early,washing cothes,worrying about getting them ironed,handling the servant,breakfast varieties,browsing through food blogs,still travelling in auto,learnt to live in an apt,climbs all three floor steps {no lift},can make roti in the shape of roti {almost},eating lot of fruits:(, i have solutions for clogged kitchen sinks,variety of floor cleaners,the new broomstick which i need to buy,that roomfreshner i need to change,and @#$%##@$.
And these days when i call up my best friend we both end up talking about servant or wasted food or which super mkt has good trash bags,and there was a time when it was all about movies and partying and music and hours of non stop nonsense.
also learnt to let someone else pay bills and whatever.I actually neednot worry about them all:) feels good,isnt it,learnt to live with a person who can be silent for 5hrs 45min at a stretch {that was the time counted in the latest exp when we both were not sleeping and in the same house,he dint say word for that much time,Hmmm,now i know why people say i talk less these days,"sangat ka asar hain bhai.In and all,life has been good,thanks to him.

Now i had to coherse him to write these few lines about his experiences,literally threaten, shed a few tears,even warned that i will stage a walkout,a dharna and sigh,he said OK atlast.

Sri's version of life after wedding.

Hi,well,life is the same as before,Errrrrrrrr,let me change that before i can hear some thrashing sounds from her.Life has been good,Not many changes,Or..Hell,Yes,there are lot of changes post wedding,the biggest of them is now i worry about a tomorrow,my....oh..sorry,Our future,i plan and became more conservative in my approach,i worry,i play cautious when see risk.
well,there are changes,my phonebills have gone down,weekend parties have been cutoff,now when i am going out with friends i better make sure to inform before its too late {before the dinner is planned at home,mind you,only plan,not the actual cooking,she hates her plans to be busted} I know how to make the beds now,i now know that as soon as we wakeup we need to foldup our blanket {huh,why?dont we use it again tonight,so why fold it atall????}
i now know that eating at home needs lot of work {but why cant we eatout as before?} i now know that filling waterbottles is a daily chore and i know that green vegetables can be of different varities {next time i will ask for spinach instead of greenleaves} and i know that corriander is to be bought in a limited quantity,not in 50 bunches just because we get it cheap.
And now i realise the word Driver whenever i take her out for shopping.i still have no idea what she does in a shopping complex for more than 3hrs,all i know is to carry a bag or a trolly while she regally inspects all the items in the mkt which we donot even need in our whole life,she can talk endlessly,abt quality,quantity,hell,she can talk about that watchman or salesperson also,even about our neighbours dog also
.why do we have to match curtains to doormats to table covers? how does it matter if we read the newspaper in bed? how does it matter if we have breakfast at 11am or have 4cups of coffee insted of 2?why do we have to take bath in the morning on a weekend? why should we always remember the word "cleanliness is next to godliness" always {somuch so that it is made as a poster in my room now}
Errrrrr,Sure life has been good,for a simple reason that now i have someone to got home to,Someone who loves me unconditionally! ! ! ! ! But lot of conditions for my lifestyle though.
Now i can go back peacefully to watching TV,let me search for the remote which she hid till i finish writing this,Cya sometime again,till then be good and havefun.

Life Is Beautiful

Was cleaing my reading table drawers, i was supposed to do this work as soon as we shifted to this flat,that is 5months back,well,it came filled with memories,i brought lot of my things from my house,left behind a few and now i make them a part of this flat,lot of things,which i placed them whereever i wanted them to be,but the drawers never got opened till now.

Found lot of things there,100's of photographs and autograph books and pens and my first palmtop,organiser and greeting cards and then i found

My walkman,my first walkman,My mom got me this when i cleared ICWA foundation when i was in Graduation first yr.
It must have costed her a few hundred,i know how difficult was at that time for my family to spend such amount on fun,or a hobby.but she did so,we never had a cable connecion untill both me and my brother finished our post graduation,the small black and white Videocon tv was limited for viewing sunday evening movie on doordarshan.
I remember the feeling when i got this gift,she just handed it to me,nofancy wraper or words,a simple smile was all i could share with her,but it meant a world to me,to her and to my brother.I used it for a few years,and then it went into the drawer,we have everything today.All the so called luxuries,but today when i go back to those days i remember them with a fond smile,
I miss those days, we were an average middle class struggling family,but we were together,those simple pleasures of life,sitting in the kitchen with mom,enjoying simple daal chawal,occassional new dresses and rare outings but still we enjoyed eachday.

Our first holiday was a surprise gift for mom,we both saved for a trip to Badri and kedarnath and then to Delhi,we watched snowfall for the first time and the day when bro bought his bike and took mom to the temple and when he got her a simple mobile and the day we had the house warming ceremony for our house which atlast was completed,and then came so many things,they all changed our lifestyle,
but did it change our way of living?No,it dint,i am happy that we still live the same way,happy with our simple pleasures,i still see ma going to the temple,praying everyday,helping people in whatever ways she can,bro still gets to be pampered like a small kid, we still sit in the kitchen on sundays and excitedly tell her our experiences cherishing daal chawal and playing with the two fur brats.We sure are all busy now but we still find ways to be happy,thankyou mom,its because of what you taught me that i am happy today.

Got the best compliment from hubby {its rare that he uses words to express his feelings}when i heard "thankgod you know how to be simple and make it all beautiful" wow,i am honoured,i am happy and i know Life sure is what we want it to be,it might take time,it might test us,it did that to me too,there is lot more to come,but i know i can live through it all,there is always light at the end of the tunnel,i saw it when the time came,and one day you might see it aswell. Another day and another reason to smile and say that "Life is Beautiful"

Am listening to this song from Lage Raho Munnabhai and it sure is topping my list of favourites this year....... "pal pal pal pal har pal har pal,kaise katega pal har pal har pal,dil dil dil dil mein machi hain machi,machi hain hulchul hulchul hulchul...............tu jo hai saath mere toh dagar ,lage ke jaise khubsurat ghar,tu jo hai saath toh yeh ambar,lage ke jaise saaya ho sar par,tere kaandhe par rakhkar sar,yun hi katt jaaye saari umar,pal pal pal pal har pal" har pal.........

Another New Day

After completing exactly 5 months 20 odd days being married i feel Life has been fair enough.By the way dont we all remember "First Birthday,First gift,First kiss,first crush blah blah blah" well,i realised lately that my Firsts after wedding are fast disappearing and everything is falling into a routine,My first cooking senssion,my first shravanagauri vratam,my first festival after wedding,my first diwali,my first exp of being responsible for major decisions,they are fast becoming a part of memories,now its all the same everyday,cooking,festivals and being the decisionmaker and servant of the house at the same time:) But lot of firsts are still remaining,No worries,even they all vanish i will find something new all the time,i wont let this word Routine eat me alive,No way.

Sometimes i feel scared,Time is just rushing,or is it my life? even before i realise what all i did or have to finish for a day its gone,There is Another day and Another exprience and i feel rushed,i want to sit back and look at the life,my life,laidback,remembering good old days,smiling at the wonderful yesterdays and not working for a future but its not possible,Not at this stage,i just begin a new life,a new world,mine,a smallone,lot of new people whom i am trying to understand still,they are trying to accept me into their lifes too,and its been good till now,touchwood.

And i still have no second opinions about hubby being the best:) Or do i? well,at times i do threaten him that i will put an adv for a new husband material he says Go ahead:( thats when i realise i am stuck with him:) for lifetime,He is someone whom i want to share my life with,But,well,there are always If's and buts in life,isnt it?


I am a diehard romantic at heart,But i found the truth about hubby the hardway,The other day "Mausam suhana tha,thandi hawa chalrahi thi aur sageet ke saaz cheddi humne aur pati mahashai ko phone lagaya {Climate was beautiful,light was breeze making me feel good, and i just called up hubby with an idea}

Me "Darling,it feels so good today,lets have a candle light dinner tonight,what say?

Hubby: Oh whynot Ji,start lighting up the candles,i am on my way home,what did you cook by the way?
{all i wanted to do is to go out for a dinner}

The other day we were watching our wedding CD and he was very serious and grim looking at this particular scene where we both were laughing at something.

Me:Why are you looking so serious.

Hubby:I am not serious,I am Sad

Me:Why

Hubby:whynot? i am looking at the last day when i laughed somuch:( I lost my independence on 7th of May.2006:(

Huh,Men! ! !


Was in kitchen for an hour and in frustration i screamed "Why dont you help me here instead of watching that stupid newschannel"?
Hubby:But i did help you,dint i??
Oh yeah? in what way?

Hubby: I filled waterbottles and put them in fridge:D
@$#%$^$@ ---how would filling 2 waterbottles equals making daal chawal,bhindi and rasam? Go figure.

Life has been good,every new day brings in new smiles,new experiences and new challenges,I am bracing myself for all of it,I am enjoying it the way it is:)

Lamhe

I completed 7yrs in the present job today.7yrs of teaching and i still feel nervous when i am going to the class,or new subject or new batch,Its been a good experience,or say wonderful exp of my life till now,professionally there is nothing more than being satisfied with what you do and i feel so content,those 45 min of classes daily,so much to talk about,personal and subject,arguements,confusions and smiles,girls who enter the staffroom with problems,sharing them,trusting me,dreams in their eyes,they make me respect my job even more,there is much to do,every year they comeup with new ideas,new challenges in front of me,i keep working on them,i am satisfied,and i am happy with what i do,I teach and in the process i learn.

A collegue resigned today,she said her kids need her and she said she now wants to be content with her kids and her small family,after 14yrs she left the campus without any regrets today,i will miss her,the fun times we had,but sure,she took the right decision:)

Why do i write my blog,what does writing here means to me--An introspection {Tagged by Atul}

When i started a blog in 2004 July27th,i had no idea why i did so,on a rainy evening we 3 friends met and while having hot coffee and listening to kishore da's voice in "anewala pal jaanewala hain" i created the beautiful Akruthi.But in a few months it became a place to hide or to reveal the realself,to talk to myself.It so happens in the real world that we just put up a mask many a times,you dont feel like laughing but we do,we want to hide our pain and we do and fake false smiles,show our frustration but we cannot,so many emotions which people around us maynot appreciate,and then we need an outlet, want to hide a few faces of self from our dearones,to look at our own image--the real one, we need a mirror,i had mine,this blog,added to that the expereiences of being a teacher,the situations where i had to give a hand to someone to comeout of despair,depression were all put there,i was depressed,i was angry for sometime,i thought life is going to end,but it dint,lots of help came from the people here around,made wonderful friends who helped me out of it all,and there were nights when i couldn sleep,i wiped off my tears and sat to write about the feeling.this place saw it all,the smiles,pain,tears,love,lost and end of it all,and one fine day i just ended it,closed it and went on to live, but i couldn and then created Alapana,the one which started showing a newer side of a girl turning into a women,who is dreaming,living and smiling with others,these days i dont write much,i am not veerrrry popular,i want it this way,this blog is still a place where i will continue to write about Me,Myself and my small world filled with my dearones.But now at more leisure,less of frustrations and more of aspirations,more of dreams of a tomorrow rather than of a reality of yesterday,the expressions which are like soothing music,a life,mine here,my own way:)
All my posts are dear to me,i cannot choose a few,if a few talk about my favourite music then some talk of my exp as teacher and rest in general of my experiences in life,i love them all:)

I was tagged by passerby55 about 8 weird things about myself,well,a personal tag which i always avoided but now will finish it:)

I am moody,arrogant headstrong,whats weird about it? but at the sametime i am friendly,helpfull,funloving,caring......Now both the sets of variables are said by same set of people,Now who is weird? me or them?
I vanish!!!!! Yeah.i mean i run away from people at times,i love being with friends,enjoy crowds at times,i am the leader mostly,plan execute and take applause,but suddenly i vanish,i dont take phonecalls for days together,i dont talk to anyone unless it is needed,very reluctant to go out such times,avoid every possible creature in the world:) {Except for my dogs and Now hubby...well,can they both go in the sameline???? Huh

I ask for it and then when given i say NO.Well, confusing, Errrrr,for me also,let me rephrase it,I ask mom or hubby for an outing or for a new dress or a gift,when i am granted i reject it saying i dont want anything now:) Well,maybe i just want to know if they will give it to me or not,if they say No i keep cribbing,when they giveup and say Yes,i say NO.Now i know you are all making faces,not fair:(

I love music,i cannot live without it,but it has to be mostly hindi music,almost,99.9% hindi music,and even when i know tha there is an ocean of wonderful english music i just dont want to listen to it,i am biased??? maybe,but the lyrics the music the voice,nothing makes me feel good about it,trust me i have friends who tried with n No. of beautiful songs,but something wrong with my listening skills:)

I can cook,the fact is recently proven,i am a decent cook,hubby not only survived all self learnt {practising} cooking while taking instructions from mom,but for gods sake i cannot mke Coffee or Tea:( nooooooo,Not for anyone,i just can never make it right,i know that:)

I never tasted Coke,Pepsi,mirinda,thumbsup... or any other cold drink except for that mango drink called Frooti.I dint taste Tea or Coffee till date,i dint taste milk {yukkk} past 25hrs atleast:)

Thats it,6 weird things about me,Yayyy,i did it,i am done with this tag,but i still am remembering lot of weird things about self:) well,maybe someother time:)


Ok guys,my last post before Diwali,this Diwali is the first after my wedding,i am going to celebrate it with lots of diyas,sweets,lights,flowers,well,But no crackers,the money which i spend on them will go to Cry this time,think of it,it might be little money for us,but for a kid it might make her life,sponser a kid for her studies this Diwali,lets light a lamp in a kids life. Dont forget,childlabour is banned,but most of the cracker factories still employ kids to make them.
and yes,play safe and have a fun filled and no noise diwali:) for your sake and for others peace.Happy Diwali

Ashayein

Another sleepless night,just like that,i stand by the window and look at the darkness outside,i remember these lines,i repeat them here again,i did it before,i might do it again on some night when the darkness tries to swallow me,when the silence gets so loud that i feel scared of it.I wish i knew whats in store Tomorrow,but i know i cant,Thats the only mystery which we never can expolre,thats what makes life the way it is,Hope of a better tomorrow makes this night shorter,i can see the night fading away,there will be a ray of hope with the new day,with the first sunray,I will wait for it.......

"I Keep staring into the silence of the night,I keep listening to the sounds of the silence,I try to play with words but end up in silence,I try to hold a moment in my hands,but it just slips away...The sands of time goes far far away from me,I have no choice but to walk along,Smiling at the waves of emotions shattering to 100 peices on the rocks,I smile because the waves keep coming back,Just like HOPE,and i go on..Flow with the wind,Sing with the birds around,Across the boarders,forgetting the boundaries,Catch me if you can,Before you try i slip off to the far off land. I have to catch that first drop of rain,I haveto touch the first Ray of sun,I have to feel the smell of the freshly drenched Earth,i need to feel the softness of the first petal of the rose,I have to move on,I keep walking off to the far far away grounds.

Radiocity FM is playing this song now at this hour....

"Tumse milke,aisa lagaa tumse milke, armaan hue mere dil ke,aye mere jaanewafa,tere mere,mere teri ik jaan hain,saath tere rahenge sada,tumse na honge judaa,tumse milke....."

Sangeet ki Duniya se

This is my first tag on Alapana,I remember not doing them at my other blog,somehow i dint like doing them,but we all change,so did i.New blog,new ideas,but then somethings remain same,so does my taste and craze for music,this meme is for ardent musiclovers,those who love hindi film music of the past gone years,those melodies which still haunt us all with their beauty of lyrics,music,voice.Everything seems perfect with them.I can forever listen to those songs,again and again,and everytime i do so i find a new dimension in the music,in the meaning,in the voice.

Now i am ready to tag people to do this,and i want them to complete it,a few of them whom i know share the love for the music,the kind which i listen to.

AtulSabnis

First him because i remember him tagging me long back and i never did it.Sorry for that,but i am sure you will comeup with your favourite list of songs,I really hope so.

Stoneji

Ab main inkeliye kya kahoon,he is always one step ahead of me in knowing about songs,music directors,lyricists or the lyrics themselves,Stoneji,i want you to finish this tag,would love to know your favourite songs.

Manishji

Mere dost jinki hindi itni shudh hain ki mujhe unse baath karthe samay dhyan rakna padtha hain ki main acchi tarah se baat karoon.Someone who writes a blog mostly about music and literature,we both always comeup with same songs for similar occassions.
Manishji, jaldi se apna post likhdeejiye.

Eroteme

Now i am always scared of his blog,or the writer in him,i am always a silent reader,read all his posts,smile or think but never can comment there,Such excellent writer but then he is one of my close friends also,so Anand,you better finish this tag and i know you have an excellent choice of hindi songs,specially the ones you keep humming daily,Now do i see you smiling:)

Ardra

My dear friend who is a sweetheart,Who has such talents like singing, dancing, writing, and such a sensitive person who is always with me whenever i need her,someone whom i call my sister,Nimmi,its your turn to finish this tag:)

Hirdu

Wish one day i can match his sense of hindi music,but i dont know if i can ever do so,he is mostly online and everyday i log into to my messenger just to know which song he chose to put up as his status message,Kyon hirduji,kya khayal hain:)

Now for the meme

Your favourite lyricist and the lyrics you remember the most..

Ofcourse Gulzar,everyone knows it by now:) Its difficult to select one but the lines from the movie Raincoat are one of his best works and i remember them always.

" kisi mausam ka jhaunka tha,jo is deewar par latki hui tasveer tirchhi kar gaya hai,gaye sawaan mein ye deewarein yoon seeli nahin thi,na jaane is dafa kyun inmein seelan aa gayi hai,darare pad gaye hai aur seelan is tarha baithti hai,jaise khushk rukhsaroon pe geele aansu chalte hain"

Your favourite song on friendship

"Yaroon dosti badi hi haseen hain,ye na hoto kya phir bolo ye zindagi hain"

Best song portraying life's emotions {zindagi se bhara hua,zindagi ke baare mein}

"Ae zindagi yeh lamha jee lene de
Oh, pehle se likha kuch bhi nahin
Roz naya kuch likhti hai tu
Jo bhi likha hai, dil se jiya hai
Yeh lamha filhaal jee lene de"

Which song are you humming today.

"ye zindagi gale lagaale,humne bhi tere har ik ghum ko gale se lagaya hain,hain na"

one song which brings tears to your eyes

"Jeena Yahan Marna Yahan, Iske Siva Jaana Kahan
Ji Chahe Jab Humko Awaaz Do,Hum Hain Wahin Hum Thhe Jahan,
Kal Khel Mein Hum Ho Na Ho,Gardish Mein Taare Rahenge Sada
Bhoolenge Hum Bhoologe Tum,Par Hum Tumhare Rahenge Sada
Rahenge Yahin Apne Nishan"

A song which gives you hope,reason to try again and again,a reason to say that life is beautiful:)

This song from Iqbal has beautiful lyrics.

"pootche hain zindagi,hamse jeene ki adaa,bole yeh raaste yaaro jaana hain kaha,ham toh hawaao pe likhte hain dastaan,ham mein hain woh hunar,chaa jaaye jaaye jaha

When you want to be with yourself,silent and content but with music,with song would that be?

"Hum, rahen ya na rahen kal ,Kal yaad aayenge ke ye pal
Pal, ye hain pyar ke pal ,Chal, aa mere sang chal
Chal, soche kya ,Chhoti si, hai zindagi ,Kal, mil jaaye to hogi khush-naseebi"

If you have to express your love for someone with a song which would that be?

betaab dil ki tamannaa yahi hai
tumhein chaahenge tumhe.n poojenge
tumhe.n apnaa Khudaa banaayenge,
hanste hanste ro de.n ham, itnaa bhi to hansaao naa
dil me.n tumhin base ho, raha aanchal vo bhar chukaa hai
kahaan itanii Kushii chhupaaenge.

5songs which you listen to the most

"Khamosh sa afsaan,pani mein likha hota,na tumne suna hota,na humne kahaan hota" From Libaas

"aane wala pal,jaane wala hain,ho sake tho isme zindagi bitado,pal jo ye jaanewala hain" from Golmaal

"Ka karoon sajani,aaye na balam,Khoj rahi hain piya pardesi akhiyaan,aaye na balam" from Swami

"Ye nain dare dare,ye jaam bhare bhare,jaraa peene do,kal ki kisko khabar,ik raat hoke nidar, mujhe jeene do" from Kohra.

"Huzoor iskadar bhi na itraake chaliye,Khuleaam na aanchal na leharaake chaliye" from Masoom.

Nostalgia is the word:)

Its silent and it usually is,the apartments,the corridors and the surroundings are always silent here,all i can hear at times is doors being opened or closed,sometimes i feel scared of it all,No one to talk to,sometimes i wish my servant comes early so that i can atleast hear her cribbing about the rain,about her husband's carelessness,and if she is silent then i can hear her bangles clicking while washing dishes.
How i wish i had people around,i am tired of talking to mom on phone,i am tired of waiting for hubby to come home,but then there is always TV and Internet,books and music...Asked a colleague when i complained.yeah But they are not living things,i wanted to scream,there is your blog,asked brother when i started cribbing,Oh please,i do have my blog but i cannot or dont want to spend all my time there,i wanted to scream again.But you have your job,you are always busy,said mom when i said i feel bored,I just shrugged and changed the topic.
What do you want my dear "asked hubby in a soothing voice,i dint scream this time,i dint say anything and fell into my silence again,I wish i could answer my collegue, my bro, hubby and mom,but i dint,will they understand?
Will they understand if i say i want to unwind myself into the breezy countryside with its innocence and livliness,will they understand if i say i want to watch the first ray of sun falling on that river flowing infront of grannys house in a remote village in coastel andhra?

I want to wakeup to the sound of temple bells in the vishnu alayam and shivalayam in that small village,i want to wakeup to the smiles echoing in the varandah,that big armed chair which is always filled in by any of the elders walking into the house,the smoke rising from the circular kitchen {yes, a circular kitchen} tucked away from the main house,the first dose of hot idlies getting ready and butter being churned in a earthen pot,fresh vegetables just plucked from the vast garden around.
the breeze from the coconut trees around is so soothing,and yes,there are no bounday walls,no lines drawn,people walk in and out of eachothers territories without much fuss being made,that fresh water pond which is filled with waterlilles near the library,and all those elders gathering on the stone benches just near the entrance of the houses enquiring everyone going that way,gossip travels fast in those lanes,but such harmeless bickering which can be easily ignored.
Taking an afternoon nap is absolutely imp,that too under that big wildjasmine tree,yes its called konda malli,put those old fashioned foldable beds under that tree,the breeze from the river greeting you,the tree is 50yrs old i am told.
and the evening arrives with such beauty, "godhulivela" A beautiful word in telugu which means that time of the evening when all the cows are returning from the fields with bells ringing which are tied to their necks,and the dust raised from the walk tries to match with the red orange sunset over the water,the dust from that red and black clay mud,
No TV or Internet there,but you still can live without missing them,there is somuch to do,somuch to feel and absorb in your head,in your heart,i stand near the small entrance to the small park near the river flowing,kids jumping into the water from that bridge built over the river,it joins two sides of a village, the other side which i can see from this end,but to reach i need to either swim or walk on that bridge,the one which was built 70yrs back.
Time for dinner,Dinner,i smile,the image of very hot rice and mango pickle,ghee,sambhar and vadiyalu or papad as we call and then curd with rocksalt and lemon pickle makes me so hungry.the lantherns are lit in all the rooms,the beds are being made outside the side varandah,white bedsheets and pillows and handfan if it gets too hot,but its never hot in summer also.

jasmines and roses and hibiscus blooming allover and there are not many sounds now,the river looks serene,i keep watching the ripples and the moonlight falling on it and slowly fall asleep,i was not busy but still tired,i dint work much but still very hungry,i dint have a blog or TV but i still feel satisfied,i dint call anyone from my mobile,but i feel as if i chatted the whole day,I have had such a wonderful day,that day,sometime back,or was it long back when i was there,was it five yrs back, already!!!!!
When i was a carefree young girl still dreaming alot,and it makes me feel so old,i am married,oh god,does it change my outlook towards life there?
For now i dont feel so.But i am going back there,out of a tradition of doing a puja in the Ramalayam in that tiny village,next yr April i will be there,all the newly wed couples in my family go there for their first sriramanavami festival,perform a kalyanam,i will go there too,i dont know much of the puja or the rituals,but i will go there,share the feeling in silence with hubby,maybe then he will know,he will understand the words hiding behind my silence,for now i am making peace with TV,iNTERNET,blog and mobile and getting back to enjoy what i have now,tomorrow is long way,let me live today,tomorrow will come when it has to:)

PS:Non beta bloggers can leave an anonymous comment if they r unable to comment here and as i am not able to leave comments in non beta blogs i will continue with anon comments myself:) Sorry for the trouble guys,i was stupid enough to jump into blogger beta,now wait till ...........

If not for you i wouldn have been what i am today.Its wonderful to have a friend,Specially when its you. There is always a hope,of a better tomorrow,isnt it? I know you are hurt today,feel cheated,betrayed,but love does it to most of us,Dint you tell me long back that nothing is forever.Well,you were right,i wanted to repeat the words to you now that you are down and feel its over, My dear friend,But at times its better to hold your hand and stay silent till you are willing to talk again,and i will be with you,till you smile again.
Its been 12yrs of knowing eachother,Isnt it,Three of us,from college teenagers to responsible and matured individuals sharing life with our partners,being in respectable positions,today we are lot more busy with the challenges of life,but all these boils down to one fact when we all meet,We still are the same at heart,sharing our joys and pains and smiling with eachother around,thankgod for the wonderful gift god gave me,I maybe flying today,but with all of you around my feet are still firm on the ground,thankyou. This song which you always keep humming,the one which is your favourite., i remember it today,wish you are back to what you were,i know you will,till then,just to tell you that i am with you,we are with you my dear S,Life is not easy,but dont you think we are all made to fight and win over it? we will,and its your turn now,cheerup,i know you will win it:)

Yaroon dosti badi hi haseen hain,
ye na ho tho kya phir,bolo ye zindagi hain,
Koi tho ho raazdaar,begaraz,tera ho yaar,
koi tho ho raazdaar,
Teri har ek burai pe dante woh dost,
gum ki ho dhoop tho sayaa bane tera vo dost,
yaroon dosti badi hi haseen hain...

Ek Sapna

Sept8th,2004

I ended the day with a line........"The day might be over,but the memories will last forever"

Sept8th,2005

"If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands
If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it"

Its Sept8th again

SO much changed,so many people lost in the shades of life,the path is narrowed down to specifications,goals,dreams which are now shared,a future now looking forward to,but still i miss something which i had earlier,But then it always happens with me,Yesterday is no more,and tomorrow is yet to come,All i have is a today,and i live for it.

"Ik kal jo chala gaya vo chala gaya nahi aayega ,ik kal jo aaya nahi jab aayega dekha jaayega aaj ka din bas apna hai baaki sab kuch sapna hai "

This year i would only say...A year gone by,one more to come,i welcome it with a smile and hold on to the happiness,look at the beauty of life and say to myself
"Happy Birthday"

Glimpses of my world

It was easy,easy being a daughter,where mom took care of everything,where you had to do nothing but enjoy everything,the festivals,the food and the relatives and kids, and friends,pets, everything.No responsibility taken completely,everything was takencare of and always a kid no matter what the age is,and then suddenly you get married and grow up,you do certainly.
Howmuch ever you are pampered by hubby dear a sense of responsibility always reels in your head,right from servant to relatives to friends and to the house itself,you feel responsibile for everything and everyone.Now its up to us how we deal with it,Its a girl thing i would say,Only a woman can change herself and put her self into a new image whenever it is needed.And accept a new house,people and person into her life and they suddenly form the crux of her life.
Yesterday was the first festival after my wedding,i dint want to go to mom's place,wanted to do it here,at my house,wanted to show it to mom that i can handle it all,I did,Dint i ma:)
Now the glimpses of yesterday,glimpses of my life,which i own,i care and nurture ,and i am responsible for it to be the best,and i give my best,i try,and one day i want to be perfect,Just like you ma...

Welcome

Skyline from the balcony

Preparing for the Puja

Decorating

Naivedyam.

Om

Ready for the katha

And the evening brought friends home,And i welcomed them with diyas.

And the rain brought mist and beauty with it.

And thats the end to a day well spent,with hubby who with his silence says it all,with friends who screamed at top of their voices,but whatever the form of expression maybe,i just know they all love me for what i am,and i love them all for being with me always.
I have a tomorrow to look forward to, i am off to dreaming about it.Have a wonderful week ahead guys:)

Music again.

Surely hindi film music lovers will remember "Ganga aaye kahan se,ganga jayen kaha re" or Mora gora ang lei le,mohe shaam rang dei de,chhup jaaoongee raat hee me, mohe pee kaa sang de de" from bandini Or,Tum pukar lo,tumhara intezaar hain....kwaab chun rahi thi raat,bekaraar hain" from Khamoshi, then came Guddi and the song which till date is sung in many schools as a morning prayer "Humko man ki shakti dena,man vijay karen".
Jab bhi ye dil udaas hota hain,jaane kaun aaspaas hota hain" from seema has been with me since i knew about loneliness.How can we forget the movie parichay which gave us "beeti na bitay raina,birhaa ki ye raina or saare ke saare gama lo lekar gaate chale"
Anand" the movie which till date makes me cry has this "maine tere liye hi saat rang ke sapne chune,sapne sureele sapne" and "naa jiya laage na,tere bina mere piya..."

GULZAR,by this time you all know the lyricist who penned these beautiful songs,Today being his birthday and as such i have been waiting to remember all his songs {which is not possible for me } this post goes for my favourite lyricist,poet director Gulzarsaab.

Remember Mausam,then Khushbu,all the songs from this movie have been my fav "bechara dil kya karen,savan jale,bhadojale,do pal ki raah nahi,ek pal ruke,ek pal chale"
Aandhi? i dont even need to remind the songs from it.."tere bina zindagi se koi shikwa tho nahi...."And then came the simple and light hearted GHARi,so were the songs, "terebina jiya jaayena,bin tere,tere bin saajana...." or "aaj kal paaon zameen per nahi padte mere"

"Thoda hain,thode ki zaroorat hain,zindagi fir bhi yehaan khoobsoorat hain" from khatta meetha talks about the way i look at life myself,So simple yet so beautiful lines.

I rarely talk about my father,too many memories which hurt.but still the song "Do deewane shahar mein,raat ko aur dopehar mein" always reminds me of him,.this song dosnt play anymore in my house,there was a time when as a kid i always woke up and slept with this song playing in the background.Its his favourite.

Hrishikesh mukharjee's movies have a flavour which is liked by all,not much of melodrama and simple characters makes the core of the picture,but it wouldn be complete without the songs from gulzar's pen......GOLMAAL my fav comedy has "aane wala pal,jaane wala hain,ho sake tho isme zindagi bitado,pal jo ye jaanewala hain"
The list gets endless with namkeen,basera,masoom "tujse naaraz nahi zindagi haraan hoon main or "do naina ek kahaani,thoda sa badal,thoda sa pani" sitara,angoor, but i wouldn want to miss out on Sadma,Lekin,Izaazat and Libaas, nothing can be compared to these songs,........"Katra katra milthi hain,katra katra jeene do,zindagi hain" or Yara sili sili virha ki raat ka jalna" aie zindagi gale lagaale,humne bhi tere har ek gham ko gale se lagaaya hain,hain na? "khamosh sa afsaana,pani mein likha hota,na tumne pada hota"

then came Mammo,maachis.Aastha,dilse,satya,yahaan,Omkara.the list will go on.
I have all the songs abouve mentioned with me,but one album stands out, "Pancham-Gulzar remembers RD Burmam,which is out of stock in almost all the cities and rarely available i made it possible to get a copy from an old music shop where i have been going past 12yrs,but i regret doing so.Because i did it for someone whom i no longer remember as a friend,The first and last regret that i shared my beloved music with someone whom i donot relate to anymore.sad that people tend to forget friends so easily and move on without realising what it might have done to the other person.Well,no regrets,i am what i am:) I move on with my life,along with people who are with me,who trust me and walk with me knowing that i would be with them...forever.

"Kitne saahil dhoonde, koi na saamne aaya
Jab majdhaar mein doobe, saahil thaamne aaya
Tumne saahil, oh, pehle bichhaaya hota
Khaamosh sa afsaana paani se likha hota
Na tumne kaha hota, na humne suna hota
Khaamosh sa afsaana"

******

"Hum ne bahane se, chhup ke zamane se,
palkon ke parde main ghar bhar liya Hum ne bahane se,
chhup ke zamane se palkon ke parde main ghar bhar liya
tera sahara mil gaya hai zindgi, Ae zindagi gale lagaale,
humne bhi tere har ek gham ko gale se lagaaya hain,hain na?"

Perceptions

I wrote about her long back at someother place.I am copying a part of it here again.

"She got on to the stage very slowly,first time,i knew it was the first time she got up to talk on her own,"Farewell " ya,my senior batch students finished their final semester almost and they had farewell yesterday.When a girl announced "now i request the seniors to come on to the dias and share their exp " one after the other they were talking abt the college,the tour,the picnics,the parties and the classes and the lecturers.
When she got up there was a silence,will she talk???? she started " two years back when i entered the college i was scared and tensed.And when my seniors asked me to introduce myself i had tears and i never talked.When i was asked my one of my lecturers in the class to explain Diminishing Marginal Utility i was silent and the lecturer gave me all the time i needed but i couldn,then she asked me to meet her in the free hour.Well,the words she used sure made a diff to me as a whole.Today if i can handle the stage or my life without hesitation or without any fear then the credit goes to her,Thank u mam,I am going to sing a song,and this is for u "
The hall broke into a loud applause and she was right there smiling and proud of herself.With a twinkle in her eyes,I know she will never again be scared and she would never cry to get onto the stage.She looked at me for a sec before getting down the stage and i knew she is going to win all her battles in life now.No one can stop a person who is ready to try"

Yesterday i got a mail from her, and she is placed in one of the best firms as a HR professional,and she would be dealing with people,.people whom she ran away most of the times,and the girl who always was silent and sulking ,who never had the confidence in self and who thought she would be a failure and she let her frustrations show on her face when i met her 2yrs back as first sem student.
Never used to talk.and gets irritaed very easily and it was not arrogance,i knew it was something else.It had to be,the girl had a spark in her but she wont let me or anyone be near her,one day the words cameout "I dont like my parents attitude,i hate them and they do the same" and then went on long chats and discussions on life and world in general whenever i was free.It was tough but i kept seeing the changes,slowly she was trying and that was enough. and today wherever she got to,its only because of her determinaton and her dreams of flying high,God bless her.

Recently an uninvited guest had this look on his face which irritates me and his question sure made me wince "You are wasting your time by being just a teacher,you have so many options,why dont you join for a course in SAAP and get into some high salary fetching job,u can even leave this country and increase your bank balance,these days money is everything. Is it so? is money everything? i am not against any job,i am not averse to ppl making loads of money,my brother makes it,so does my hubby,but they are happy with the challenges of their work,they face them,work for it,they have sleepless nights and at times work for 20hrs or so at a stretch.
"kabhee kisee ko mukammal jahaan naheen milataa,kahee jameen to kahee aasamaan naheen milataa,jise bhee dekhiye wo apane aapamei gum haijubaan milee hain magar humajubaan naheen milataa"
It all depends on what you want from life,Well,wish i could answer him,but then the basic courtesy of not answering back to a elder person and my disinterest in having arguments with ppl who dont understand a given perspective made me silent.

Just then hubby who was sitting next to me sent me an sms because he couldn say it out then and there "I respect you for what you are and love you for being so,Be yourself" Thanks honey.
"Kuch Pal Palkhon Mein Palte Hain ,Kuch Pal Aankhon Mein Jalte Hain ,Yeh Pal To Hain Musafir, Chalte Jaayenge ,Dheere Dheere Lamha Lamha Bhool Jayenge Apni Dhun Mein Tehelte Hain."